<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Let Your Heart Hold Fast by destielpirate</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28427331">Let Your Heart Hold Fast</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/destielpirate/pseuds/destielpirate'>destielpirate</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angry Castiel (Supernatural), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bickering, Building trust, Castiel Hates Dean Winchester, Denial of Feelings, Emotionally Repressed Dean Winchester, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Falling In Love, First Everything, First Kiss, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Happy Ending, Jealous Dean Winchester, Love Confessions, M/M, Meet crazy, Mutual Pining, Protective Dean Winchester, Sarcastic Castiel (Supernatural), Slow Build, Slow Burn, Snarky Dean Winchester, stuck together</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:28:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>35,857</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28427331</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/destielpirate/pseuds/destielpirate</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is a simple guy with a simple plan who enters college after a lot of hard work. He's looking forward to the new beginning and endless opportunities. After surviving the worst through high school, Castiel has a good feeling about college and thinks he is gonna do fine, but, then, his life takes an uneasy turn, which leads him into meeting Dean, who doesn't remember him and has evolved into a very flirty, obnoxious man.</p><p>Castiel hates Dean. For almost a month, Castiel does a great job at avoiding Dean on the college campus. Everything is going fine until the day they have their first encounter, which is close to a nightmare because, apparently, Dean decides to shove an apple frigging pie on Castiel's face, which isn’t even the single worst thing he did to him that day.</p><p>Or </p><p>The one where Dean and Castiel hate each other and are forced to live together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>87</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>136</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Stairway To Grumpy Idiot</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I started writing this long ago somewhere in 2019 when i was desperately rooting for canon and ended up as an emotional wreck after every season because the writers won't make it happen.</p><p>A big thanks to my beta <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/heylittleangel/pseuds/heylittleangel">heylittleangel</a> I could not have done this without her. She is an amazing person and a great writer. She helped me a lot through this. Go guys follow her.</p><p>Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em> Castiel. </em> He's a simple guy who entered college after a lot of hard work. It started off with a regular day. Yeah, that's where it all begins. On a Thursday morning, a month into college, he has gotten settled in just fine. He's changed for the better and living on his own is not an easy task, it comes with paying bills, managing rent, food and whatnot. But he makes a fair amount working for his boss, Mr. Bartholomew, trying out his hand at editing in a way that it also helps him learn new techniques and improve his own writing skills. He doesn't have a whole lot of friends here but a few. Charlie, Garth, Kevin are the ones close to him.</p><p> </p><p>Keeping track of time, he arrives early at the campus. Usually, he would take the direct path that leads straight to his block, which is what would happen if it was a regular day but today seems different, the weather is sweet to his liking, the cool morning air feels like a bliss, caressing his cheeks, he's already fifteen minutes early and a walk in this pleasant atmosphere would be just more refreshing. And that's how he ends up taking the longer route.</p><p> </p><p>There aren't many people around, just a few scattered around the huge campus. However, being early means more time for reading the novel. Fishing out the book as soon as he's inside, Castiel begins walking up the staircase of the empty building, which will soon be crowded with depressed students wearing worn out eyes and anxiety issues. Engrossed in the book, he's least aware of his surroundings; it's empty anyway. </p><p> </p><p>Walking up slow and steady, he makes the last turn to his destination, climbing the last flight of stairs to the third floor, when he hears someone calling out, <em> "Watch out." </em></p><p> </p><p>Castiel barely manages to look up when someone crashes into him, sending him flying down the stairs. The impact is all too sudden, his left foot should have extended on a step beneath to take his weight, but, instead, it settled at the edge of the step, causing him to slip, he lost the book long ago when the survival instinct kicked in, causing him to clutch the nearest possible source of safety, which happens to be a flannel crumpling in his fist.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> The world rushes into a blur for a moment until the pain brings him to consciousness when his head hits the floor.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Groaning, he opens his eyes. <em> The fuck just happened? Fuck</em>. Castiel can't believe it. Of all people he could possibly crash into, it just has to be Dean Winchester, who landed on top of him. <em> Fuck</em>.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Dean's bones hurt like hell. The ride was harsh. His coffee mug crushed the second he bumped into the guy, spilling the contents all over the fella. </p><p> </p><p>Dean stares down at him, looking for the damage caused, seeming distracted when he meets the glare of an amazingly blue pair of eyes. <em> Most bluish of blue. </em> </p><p> </p><p>"Looks like you've fallen for me," Dean smirks, looking down at him.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>NO! </em> I've fallen <em> because </em> of you."</p><p> </p><p>Castiel hasn't got any concussion, his head is completely fine because he’s sure as hell he didn't imagine a tint of beer in Dean's breath, which is also quite strong when he doesn't speak. It takes him a moment to realize the moistness dripping his chest. <em> NO! Fucking no! </em> This can't be right. Beer drenching his shirt? He would be fine if he had cracked up a few bones. <em> Why does it have to be his new sweatshirt? </em></p><p> </p><p>The big <em> 'MEOW' </em> printed with a kitty sneaking out of the letter 'O' is completely ruined. "Get off me." Inside of Castiel's mind is a screaming protest.</p><p> </p><p>He's surprised to see Dean smirking down at him again, and flustered when he speaks, "You are holding me. Idiot," indicating Castiel's death grip on his shirt. </p><p> </p><p>Embarrassed, Castiel lets go of Dean's arm and shirt, scooting away as soon as Dean lifts his weight off him. </p><p> </p><p>"You okay?" Dean asks.</p><p> </p><p>"No. I normally spurt beer from my ribcage."</p><p> </p><p>"Sarcasm, seriously?"</p><p> </p><p>Castiel scowls. "You’ve ruined my shirt. You asshole. How am I supposed to walk around looking like this?"</p><p> </p><p>"You already walk around like that. The beer topping only made you cool." </p><p> </p><p>"That is very comforting," Castiel says, his voice dripping with annoyance.</p><p> </p><p>"Next time, pay more attention to what’s in front of you than the stupid book," Dean would apologize if the guy had managed to control his big mouth. </p><p> </p><p>"Oh, I'm sorry for walking down two stairs at a time while drinking beer from a fucking coffee takeaway mug to fool everyone around me," Castiel retorts.</p><p> </p><p>"Aren't you a cutie when you get mad?" Dean smirks, thinking of charming his way out.</p><p> </p><p>Cocking his head to the side Castiel replies dryly, "I'm about to get really adorable."</p><p> </p><p>"I could make up for the shirt with a kiss."</p><p> </p><p>In a heartbeat, Castiel snaps back, "Get lost."</p><p> </p><p>Dean smirks, cocking an eyebrow. "Not even if I buy you dinner? Meow."</p><p> </p><p>Castiel hissed. "That is a generous offer. But fuck off."</p><p> </p><p>"What's your problem, dude?"</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Y</em><em>ou. </em> You are my problem. Winchester."</p><p> </p><p>"I barely even know you."</p><p> </p><p>Castiel does respond, clenching his fist and moved super fast towards Dean. He gets right into his personal space, drawing himself to his full height, he stops centimetres away from Dean’s face, staring at him, piercing him with an intense gaze. A long moment passes by, both of them standing stubbornly. Normally, Dean would flinch or back off but he's giving a tough competition this time. His drowsy green eyes wander down to his lips before meeting up again. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>It's Castiel who backs off first, turning away with a frown, gathering his book as he walks away, hearing Dean calling back, "Hey, Meow. What's your name?" Castiel hears him in the background but doesn't bother replying.</p><p> </p><p>A few hours later, after a long day of ranting about the staircase guy, Dean sits with two of his stallions blabbering, occupying the usual spot in the cafeteria. Benny, his best friend and soon to be ex-roommate, brings up the search topic for a new place. Living in a dorm room for the past month isn't worth it, he has learnt it the hard way. A confined space and a shit ton of rules isn’t something Dean could keep up with for very long. It's suffocating.</p><p> </p><p>"Bobby already checked up with the guy before giving me the spare key. I'll check out the place today."</p><p> </p><p>Dean heaves a sigh, his thoughts drifting back to the staircase guy, and so began the inevitable ranting causing Crowley and Benny to roll eyes at him.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"You were drunk, chief," Benny states, finding it hard to believe it's even a real person because Dean hasn't shut up since morning.</p><p> </p><p>"It was only one sip. Trust me." Everyone is familiar with Dean's beer stock on the roof, a clever idea indeed to sneak in beer, and what's wrong in taking a sip or two in the morning if that's what it takes to survive two physics classes in a row.</p><p> </p><p>"Squirrel’s got a little crush," Crowley chimes in.</p><p> </p><p>"Screw Crush. Hate the guy already."</p><p> </p><p>Hoping the loathe will end if Dean works out his frustration, Benny suggests, pointing at the pie, "This goes on the next person to walk in that door." The pie sitting on the table is doing no good to shut Dean up, so an alternative might be helpful to take out the loathe of meow guy slash cat he's talking about.</p><p> </p><p>"I dare you." Crowley motions him to do the honor, forcing the plate of pie in front of Dean. Passing a glance back and forth between the pie and his awaiting friends, his mind battles a thought before accepting the challenge. "I'm gonna do it."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dean fixes himself near the entrance, giving thumbs up from distance. "It won't help getting rid of him for long," Crowley contemplates.</p><p> </p><p>"At this hour, no one comes in. I've bought us a few minutes of peace," Benny replies, looking over and smiling as Dean hides behind the door.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Five hours straight with a Dean who won't shut up about his imaginary crush is much to handle. He saw the opportunity and took it. Same goes for Crowley, who's least interested in listening to the same thing over and over again. Engaging Dean in a useless activity until they both are refreshed enough to deal with him again doesn't seem that bad of a plan. Taking a long sip of his tea, Crowley smirks, resting his feet on the opposite chair. </p><p> </p><p>The unexpected happens, interrupting their conversation when Dean exclaims, "Score!", smashing the pie on someone’s face, cheering for himself.</p><p> </p><p>Looking at the victim, happiness drains from Dean's face in a split second. The beer-soaked sweatshirt, face covered in white icing and blue eyes blinking blankly at him. "Meow," Dean manages to croak out. </p><p> </p><p>Still, looking at the odds, he can't help but snort a laugh. It is simultaneously the most hilarious and most coincidental thing to ever happen. <em> Wrong move. Dean. Wrong move. </em>Any sign of pleasure will serve as evidence he had every intention of doing it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> "You!" </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Say something, Dean. <em> Apologize. </em> Explain it wasn't meant for him. Stammering in thoughts, he utters out loud only one syllable.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> "Oops?" </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Trapped Together</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! lovely peoples.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel never came in looking for a fight, but nothing else runs through his head except for the fact that Dean Winchester is laughing after executing a well constructed plan. </p><p> </p><p><em> The day can't get any worse. </em> He isn't thinking when he lets out his boiling hate and swings his fist too quickly into Dean's nose. The pain, blazing up his arm, surprises him incredibly, leading him to a conclusion: throwing a punch hurts just as much as receiving it. But wasn't it worth it?</p><p> </p><p>The punch brakes some of Dean’s blood vessels, the blood dripping down his chin. Dean also stumbles back from the impact, staring at Castiel with wide eye</p><p> </p><p>Violence doesn't solve anything, stating he's the one at fault here, but the need to get out a clever retort overpowers Dean with the hit, "Okay. We're past the innocent phase now." </p><p> </p><p>Castiel spun around, gritting, <em> "Fuck off," </em> as he walks away, putting up a savage show for Crowley and Benny, who witnessed the whole thing from distance.</p><p> </p><p>"Mystery solved. He is real," Benny concludes, looking back at the mess. </p><p> </p><p>"Real <em> and </em> human" Crowley adds, analyzing the mess. </p><p> </p><p>"Does it make us terrible friends to enjoy this?" Benny questions. </p><p> </p><p>"Getting him some ice won't hurt," Crowley proposes, rising from his seat, followed by Benny.</p><p> </p><p>                                                                                                                     *   *   *   *</p><p> </p><p>Castiel is up in the night, reading as usual in the late hours, using the time to himself to lurk around the house alone. It's a nice place, a bit old fashioned but affordable. It's a big mansion to maintain, with a living room with a fireplace, the chandelier in the hallway, a sweet kitchen down the hall, and the empty bedrooms upstairs. The place is huge. </p><p> </p><p><em>Sad. </em>He won't be on his own for long, though, soon someone's going to move in, disturb his schedule, maybe change some setting, some arrangement of furniture or curtains.</p><p> </p><p>It's been a long day. Stumbling into Dean twice was terrifying, but he was courageous enough. Green eyes staring down at him. He looked different up close. For almost a month, Castiel did a great job avoiding Dean on the college campus. They don't share any classes apart from language, which is fine because Dean never shows up there anyway. </p><p> </p><p>But, then, two encounters with him in a single day. <em> He has the worst luck ever. </em> They stayed in silence, glaring at each other, earlier in the morning. Ten seconds… Fifteen seconds. One thing was crystal clear: Dean doesn't recognise him. But that doesn't change the fact that Castiel <em> hates </em> him.</p><p> </p><p>They shared the same high school in sophomore year, but never talked. Still, Castiel remembers everything clearly. The new kid, Dean, the best soccer player on the team, the handsome looking guy, the center of gossip around every corner of school, but, unfortunately, he didn't stick around for long. Whatever black magic he used on everyone turned out well because every freaking person missed his presence. No kidding. Every freaking one of them. Except for Castiel. Well, he had his reasons. For starters, he was friends with Alastair, his bully and second being-</p><p> </p><p>The rumbling noise behind the front door gets his attention. This late in the night, who can it be? </p><p> </p><p>Castiel walks into the hallway, confusion puckering his forehead, when a loud thud causes him to shiver in terror. Hurrying to the kitchen, he takes the very first thing he lays his eyes on for self-defense. The door must be jammed with rust because he can still hear the rambling of the doorknob. If a serial killer walks in, he might as well go down with a fight, clutching his life line, so, quietly, Castiel positions himself by the door.</p><p> </p><p>With terror seizing him, wearing an armor of fright, he holds the frying pan as his weapon more tightly than anything he ever held for the duty to save the kingdom has befallen on his tender shoulder. The door flowed open as the atmosphere around him went into slow motion from there.</p><p> </p><p><em> Panicking, </em> he lunges forward. <em> "ATTACK!" </em>, Castiel yells, feeling like a knight, swinging the pan in the air, hitting the serial killer, who falls flat, face down on the floor.</p><p> </p><p><em> "You gotta be kidding ME!" </em>Dean barks out, pressing a hand on his forehead while lying down on the floor. </p><p> </p><p>He can literally feel the clattering sound resonating in his ears, the thing banged right on his head, and this is the second time he gets hit by the same person. </p><p> </p><p>Castiel's heart rate spikes and he stands there, figuring out the man, narrowing his eyes. The universe <em> really </em> took it as a challenge when he said the day couldn't get any worse. "Are you <em> stalking </em> me, Winchester?" </p><p> </p><p>Still too weak to get up, Dean sighs dramatically. "Get over yourself, <em> Miley Cyrus. </em> Bobby rented me the place."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> "You!" </em>
</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Yeah. Me! </em>"</p><p> </p><p>"This is bad."  <em>Please—not him.</em> <em>No!  </em>"I'm calling Bobby." </p><p> </p><p>It takes a few rings before Bobby answers, threateningly, "You calling me at this hour, boy, better make it worth it."</p><p> </p><p>"Hiya, Bobby," Dean yells over, just to let his presence be known. </p><p> </p><p>"I see Dean is there. You enjoying the company?" Bobby asks. </p><p> </p><p>"No, Bobby, this is not fair. I think there's some kind of misunderstanding—" </p><p> </p><p>"If you're calling to complain," Bobby interrupts, "This ain't the right time, boy."</p><p> </p><p>"But Bobby—"</p><p> </p><p>"Put me up on speaker." Hoping to put some sense into both of them, he begins, "Listen up, ya idjits. I know both of you well, so give it some time, you'll get along fine. But, if you wanna get your asses kicked out, you can call me again," the call cuts off with a click.</p><p> </p><p>"No. This can't be. This is bad," Castiel mutters under his breath, already picturing his life after today.</p><p> </p><p>"You said that already."</p><p> </p><p>"It's worth repeating."</p><p> </p><p>Dean holds his forehead, rubbing a hand on it, hoping to make the pain go away. His attention goes back to Castiel standing above him, still holding the pan.</p><p> </p><p>"Why are you glaring at me?" Castiel asks, looking down at him in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>"Hoping that you will combust."</p><p> </p><p>Matching the disgusted expression, Dean stands up, swaying in place because of the pain. <em> Fuck this guy. </em> "Where's the kitchen?" he asks, without making any eye contact with the asshole who charged on him like a frigging Viking. </p><p> </p><p>"Down the hall to the left," Castiel answers.</p><p> </p><p>Dean hears the footsteps behind him, knowing he's being followed. The kitchen is, by far, the best thing Dean has come around; there's a window opposite the entrance, two long platforms opposite to each other, the barstool servers matching the cabinets, and it's fairly lighted from all corners. Cooking just got a lot more fun.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel seems to be returning the pan back, placing the weapon with respect to where it truly belongs. </p><p> </p><p>There's a moment of silence before Dean asks, ducking his head out of the refrigerator, "Where the <em> hell </em> is the ice?"</p><p> </p><p>"I used it."</p><p> </p><p>"To stop the <em> Knight King </em>? Build the wall?"</p><p> </p><p>"To make iced coffee. Because your pie spoiled my mood."</p><p> </p><p>"Fucking great." Waving a hand in front of Castiel, indicating the reddened forehead and the droplets of blood dripping down his nose, courtesy of the head hit, which started the bleeding again, Dean grunts, "What am I supposed to do with this?" </p><p> </p><p>Castiel begins to walk upstairs, hoping to get some sleep and muttering, "Lie down," in response before abandoning Dean. </p><p> </p><p>Hoping there aren't any more surprises for the day, Dean flops down on the couch in the living room, lying on his back with sore muscles, reddened forehead and a bleeding nose. </p><p>Good things don't come for free. The place is great. Except for Mr. <em> Smart mouth </em>. His temper doesn't go well with the face. To be honest, Dean will be lying if he says he didn't find the other man attractive at first, which was before his mouth chimed in. But there's something about his voice though, the way he talks, cold but intimidating.</p><p> </p><p>Dean lies there quietly for a while, rubbing a hand on his forehead and the other supporting his nose, when the stuff lying on the coffee table catches his attention. Dean shuffles through, fishing the mess of notes and books occupying the whole space. <em> Screw privacy </em> . He goes through the stuff, looking for something important, a <em> name </em> to go with the grumpy face, to be more precise.</p><p> </p><p><em> The Hobbit. </em> A smile spreads on Dean’s face, remembering the time he bought it for Sammy as a Christmas gift when he was 9 years old. The book isn't in a good condition, probably has been read more than a few times. Opening it, he notices something written in a beautiful handwriting on the very first page.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em> "To Castiel, </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> For the times when you miss me. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> -Love, Michael." </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><em> Wow</em>. That's nice. <em> Castiel </em>. Strange name. Dean turns a few pages, going through the book. He finds a paper pressed between the pages in the process, folded in half, kept inside the book. Taking it out, he unfolds it. It's a polaroid picture. It's a photo of Castiel and some other mysterious guy. Castiel seems really happy. There's a garden or a playground in the background, his hair is messy and he's wearing a dark blue shirt, giving a bright smile, showing a glimpse of his front teeth, and there's this other innocent looking guy, almost Castiel's height, hugging him from sideways.</p><p> </p><p>So far, Dean has never seen him smile, and he wonders if he's always this angry, when he has such a beautiful smile, a smile that can make anyone's day; it really suits him. Placing it back where he found it, Dean positions himself comfortably before falling asleep.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Let me know how's it going. Kudos are always appreciated.<br/>Next chapter will be up by 12th Jan.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Masterplan</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! Everyone.<br/>I only have one thing to say.<br/>Bean is Di.<br/>And I'm really happy for Jensen. That man truly deserved the award.</p><p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"If he hates you so much, start with small things, like make him breakfast or something," Sam says from the other end of the phone.</p><p> </p><p>Crashing on the couch didn't give him much sleep. Still, there's a lot of work to be done today, but, before any of it, he needed to call Sam. Chatting with Sammy always lightens up his mood.</p><p> </p><p>"You're not asking me to cook."</p><p> </p><p>"You're already cooking Dean, I can hear you" The phone is placed right on the counter, it's no wonder he could hear him cooking.</p><p> </p><p>"Make some for him as a peace offering."</p><p> </p><p>"Easy for you to say. He punched <em> me </em>, Sammy" Dean states, working on a giant sandwich. </p><p> </p><p>"Then you must have deserved it, jerk," Sam chuckles from the other end of the phone.</p><p> </p><p>"Shut up! There is more." Dean explains everything, including details about the warm welcome he received yesterday, not forgetting to mention that the first thing he did today was to fill up the ice trays, in case the Knight King of Sarcasm wants to charge at him again. </p><p> </p><p>Laughing hysterically, Sam falls off the bed. He can't help but giggle even after Dean angrily replies <em> "Shut up, bitch. </em>I'm hanging up, if you don't stop."</p><p> </p><p>"Okay-Okay," snorting in between, finally Sam stops giggling. "You don't know why he hates you. So don't be mean. Stick around. Make it right, because you can always be mean later on."</p><p> </p><p>"If you say so, Sam."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah. Gotta go, <em> jerk </em>. Bye."</p><p> </p><p>"Bye, bitch."</p><p> </p><p>Flipping the sandwich, Dean gives a second thought about the whole thing when Castiel enters the kitchen, going for coffee, dark bags under his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>"Morning, sunshine," Dean greets, only to get ignored. </p><p> </p><p>Pouring some coffee in his mug, Castiel settles on one of the barstools. </p><p> </p><p>"Here," Dean tries again, sliding a plate with a sandwich towards Castiel, as a peace offering. "I made some for you too." Dean gives him a forced smile. </p><p> </p><p>Castiel sits there, looking confused, glaring between the sandwich and Dean, searching for something because he never expected Dean to be nice to him. </p><p> </p><p>"Watcha looking at?" Dean asks, waving a hand in front of Castiel.</p><p> </p><p>"Poison, maybe," Castiel answers.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Jeez. </em> I know you're insufferable but I'm not there yet, Casti-el," he says cautiously.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Now </em> you remember my name. Interesting, what a head hit can do." Castiel furrows his brows.</p><p> </p><p>"Castiel, man, you shouldn't leave your stuff laying around for strangers," Dean says.</p><p> </p><p>"You went through my stuff?"</p><p> </p><p>"No. I mean, just a few. By the way, Michael's sweet."</p><p> </p><p>"I am warning you. Keep your filthy hands off my things, Winchester." Rising to his feet, Castiel leans forward, threatening, hands on counter, eyes cold, voice harsh, as if he's about to  throw another punch. To Dean's relief, Castiel's phone buzzes, interrupting the threat, and he stumbles out hurrying.</p><p> </p><p>Dean can't help but hear him. A low mummer from Castiel's end, "Yes, uh-huh. Five o'clock is fine. I'll be done with my classes by four so I'll be there—thank you for your time." </p><p> </p><p>When Castiel walks in again, Dean finds himself commenting, "Trouble finding a new Paradise?"</p><p> </p><p>"It's none of your business," Castiel shoots back, shutting Dean off with a sour reply.</p><p> </p><p>Honestly, Dean can't be happier about Castiel looking for a new place. He doesn't mean to eavesdrop into the conversation, although he grasps a few words here and there, and Castiel not denying the fact makes it clear. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe Benny can move in if he's moving out; the place is fucking huge. </p><p>                         </p><p>                                                   ******</p><p> </p><p>The drive to college is short and he parks in the usual spot, killing the ignition, he doesn't mind checking in with Bobby. </p><p> </p><p>Bobby then lays down the conditions. <em> “If he is out you are out too!” </em> </p><p> </p><p>"What the hell, Bobby?" Dean complains. </p><p> </p><p>"Mind your language, boy. You don't know his idjit brother. If something happens to him, Gabriel will make my life a living hell and, before that, I will kill you. Also, I don't trust you. I leave you alone there, you'll end up partying non-stop. And I won't allow it." Concluding, Bobby says, "You treat Castiel like princess or take your ass back to dorm." </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Freaking great. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Now Dean's stuck not only to live in the same place, but he also has to beg Castiel to stay. Last time he checked, the guy can't manage to hold up a single conversation without being rude. He ain't gonna beg him to stay. He has to stop him. Whatever it takes. But how? He needs to come up with something.</p><p> </p><p>Dean spends the rest of the day like this, zoning in and out, thinking of a full proof plan. He's in the cafeteria in the middle of the day during break with his friends, who may have noticed his distraction. </p><p> </p><p>"Spill, squirrel." </p><p> </p><p>"What?"</p><p> </p><p>"You sneaked glances at <em> 'MEOW' </em> the whole time he was here. Still admiring the crush?"</p><p> </p><p>"Wait. What? No!" he denies firmly. </p><p> </p><p>Dean doesn't hide anything from his friends; he told them about sharing the place with him first thing in the morning, although he skipped a few details about him getting hit by Castiel again. But the clock is ticking, there's no way he can execute the plan alone. He needs help.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Get ready to hear some witty insult.</em>” He braces himself for what he is about to do next, laying everything out on the table. At least Sammy was on the call when he was laughing, these idiots are laughing right in front of him, asking if that's why he was rubbing his forehead the whole time during the lecture.</p><p> </p><p>"I bet he would have stabbed you, brother, if it was a knife." </p><p> </p><p><em> Yeah. </em> No arguments there. Ignoring the laughs, he moves to the next part and reveals his plan to make Castiel stay. There's no response from both of them for a moment, both looking at him, shooting their eyebrows upwards.</p><p> </p><p>Jeez. Feels like a panel of idiots is judging him. "Are you sure about this?" Benny is the first to ask?</p><p> </p><p>"You tell me."</p><p> </p><p>"We don't know him yet. Except for his temper. He will stab you after this, for sure," Crowley says.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know, brother. Doesn't feels right."</p><p> </p><p>"You guys are my only friend."</p><p> </p><p>Crowley and Benny both stop and exchange a glance. Sighing, Benny asks, "What time?" </p><p> </p><p>Now that the team is onboard, they have only three hours left to carry out the plan. Charlie, from physics class, would be of great help but Dean refuses Crowley's idea for the same reason he refused to include her in the first place: she is friends with Castiel. They need to find someone else. The message needs to go straight to Castiel if they want him to truly believe it. And they also have to sneak into the professor's office and use his phone, which isn't gonna be an easy task, but, before that, they need to find Castiel's cell number. Too much work.</p><p> </p><p>After two hours of digging and finding the right professor, they distract him, sneak into his office, type a quick message before hitting send and removing all the traces of it. </p><p> </p><p>They then get working on phase two—finding the nerd CR, convincing him, first by asking, second by bribing, third, more bribing, then Crowley steps in with threatening and he's onboard. <em> Easy. </em> The only thing he regrets is paying Meg to get Castiel's cell number when he could’ve gotten it for free.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> It's time.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>If the guy does his job right. Saying the exact same line Benny and Dean forced him to memorize. </p><p> </p><p>The job is almost done.</p><p> </p><p>                                                         ******</p><p> </p><p>Castiel frowns. Why does the professor need him? It just doesn't add up. And why on the rooftop? He hasn't done anything wrong. But it can’t be some kind of sick prank because there's a text from the professor himself.</p><p> </p><p>Checking the clock, Castiel sighs. There's still time, the class ended a few minutes earlier and, so, he finds himself walking upstairs straight to the roof.</p><p> </p><p>Entering, he only manages to call out, "Professor?" searching around the empty place before the door shuts behind him.</p><p> </p><p>He turns, panicking. He tries opening the door. Pushing. Pulling. It's <em> locked </em>. </p><p> </p><p><em> "Help! </em> Let me out!" Castiel bangs loudly on the metal door. </p><p> </p><p>"Sorry, man. Can't," only he doesn’t sound sorry at all.</p><p> </p><p><em> "WINCHESTER</em><em>!"</em>  Castiel yells, louder than before. </p><p> </p><p>Rolling his eyes, Dean scowls, "If you move out, Bobby kicks <em> me </em> out." </p><p> </p><p>Jabbing at the door, Castiel grunts, "And locking me up here will stop me?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah. No moving out if there's no place to go," Dean says calmly from the other side of the door. </p><p> </p><p>"Could have considered <em> asking </em> me?"</p><p> </p><p>"Like you’d agree to stay." Dean sighs, knowing that the man would do anything to annoy him. </p><p> </p><p>"Let me out!" Castiel bangs on the door, gritting sharply.</p><p> </p><p>"I can't".</p><p> </p><p>"I won't go to see the apartment. Let me out," Castiel tries convincing him, voice softening. The last thing he wants is to spend the next hour in this dump, knowing he’ll get nauseous if he looks down from the edge.</p><p> </p><p>"Can't take the risk."</p><p> </p><p>"I will kill you," Castiel warns. </p><p> </p><p>"Guess what?" Dean says. "You just bought an <em> hour </em> more on the roof." Dean grins teasingly.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> "I hate you." </em>
</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Three </em> hours! There's plenty of beer so help yourself."</p><p> </p><p>"You <em> asshole. </em>"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> "Four." </em>
</p><p> </p><p>A loud bang from Castiel's end but no more insults. <em> Good </em>. He is getting around. </p><p> </p><p>"I've to move my stuff into the house, so peace out, I guess?" Dean says. "I will get back to you soon." He parts with these last words, receiving no response, thinking Castiel must be <em> seriously </em> pissed. </p><p> </p><p>Castiel slids down the metal door and sat down, reaching for his pocket. He takes out his cell phone, which happens to be of no use because there are no bars up here.</p><p> </p><p>                                                     ******</p><p> </p><p>Does he feel bad for leaving Castiel like that? <em> Yes. </em> Does he <em> regret </em> it? <em> No! </em> It's so peaceful without him around. Plugging in hard rock music, he gets working, arranging the room to his liking; he shifts the small study desk to one of the corners, he unpacks and stuffs his clothes in the closet. The view from the balcony is cool, the curtains are the same as Castiel's rooms, which is okay; the blue colour calms him. </p><p> </p><p>Finally, he gets the bed done, and, flopping down, he sighs. That was quick. He's tired, last night was rough. Slowly, closing his eyes, he drifts into emptiness.</p><p> </p><p>                                                      ******</p><p> </p><p><em> Buzzing </em>. A faint buzzing in his ears. It’s Benny. He squints at the phone, interrupting his sweet slumber. Still not very conscious, he picks it up, muttering a muffled sound.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, you're alive," Benny says.</p><p> </p><p>"Why wouldn't I be?" He yawns, exhausted, rolling over, rubbing his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>"Thought Castiel stabbed you," he hears Benny shuffling around on the other end, probably at the bar.</p><p> </p><p>"Why would he—<em> shit </em> ," Dean sits up straight abruptly. He totally forgot about him. <em> Fuck </em>. It's dark outside. </p><p> </p><p>How long did he sleep?</p><p> </p><p>Stumbling and throwing himself out of bed, he rushes out, ignoring a <em> “What” </em> from the other end of the phone. A quick nap, which was initially supposed to be not more than twenty minutes turned out longer than he planned. What if Castiel didn't make out? What if he tried to escape jumping down the five storey tall building?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Shit! </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Terror streaks through him. What time is it? His eyes dread to take a glance at the clock. </p><p> </p><p><em> Shit! </em> </p><p> </p><p>He was supposed to get him out by six. Seven tops. He slept through it. Jangling the keys, he locks the front door. It's eleven fucking o'clock. Castiel has been locked in there for how long? <em> Seven </em> hours. </p><p> </p><p>Hitting the gas, his mind estimates the math; it’ll be nearly <em> twelve </em> in the night by the time he arrives there. Making it <em> eight </em> hours with no food on the cold roof. <em> SHIT! </em></p><p> </p><p>Internally, his mind is screaming irrational thoughts. Castiel was only in a thin grey shirt when he left him. What if cold got him? What if he's dead? </p><p> </p><p><em> No! </em> He can't live with himself if someone is dead because of him. <em> Think positive </em>. He schools his thoughts, hoping Castiel is all right.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Fuck. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>English is not my first language forgive me for the mistakes.<br/>How was it? Let me know in the comments.<br/>If you enjoyed it feel free to leave Kudos!<br/>I have been a bit busy lately so the next chapter might take a while but I will update soon.<br/>I know it's a cliffhanger and I'm sorry to leave you all like this but hang in there. I have got you.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Roof</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello!<br/>There was a bit of a situation with the tenses in this one and I'm freaking out so if there's anything that need to be changed let me know in the comments.<br/>As you know english is not my first language forgive me for the mistakes I tried my best to make it work.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel slumped down in the corner, having lost all hopes long ago. The beer doesn't aid much. His body already lost all the energy while trying to escape, which only made it worse. </p><p> </p><p>He kicked the door for God knows how long until his knee gave up. Nothing happened. Except it only caused the chilly winds to irritably pierce his skin. Maybe this is it. This is how he will die. Both of his arms were sore by rushing into the door hoping to break through. His legs hurt, his arms hurt, his back felt similar to someone in their 70’s.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Exhausted. He slumped down in a corner, the cold stealing away every bit of his hope. He curled up, clinging to himself as the daylight faded into the dusk. Slowly, the night came in, whispering him into a state quite familiar yet unknown. His eyes were heavy, the surface underneath was starting to frost, and it was uncomfortable but tempting. It lured away the heat of tired muscle, the hours passed promisingly with an unknown speed as the world around him blurred until it was no more. </p><p> </p><p>He lays there on his side, cheek pressed on a cold surface, feeling numb. Breathing slow and shallow, he knows he is dreaming when he sees his mother, standing there right in front of him, running her hand through his hair, smiling down at him. </p><p> </p><p>It felt as if his subconscious was tricking him into seeing things. He wanted to move to touch her but he couldn’t; he wanted to hug her but his limbs were heavy from an unknown weight. He wanted to rest his tired head on her lap. But he couldn’t. His body was numb and paralyzed.</p><p> </p><p>The image got blurry as everything around him swirled for a moment, his vision falling into an abyss of darkness before it focuses back again. His mother is there no more. It makes him sad, because he didn’t even remember her; she died before he was even a year old. </p><p> </p><p>His vision was quite disrupted when he saw Michael, his brother. He was talking to him but Castiel couldn’t understand anything, the words hard to make out. He felt sleepy, maybe he could rest just a little. He wondered if this is what it felt like dying, and, before his eyes fell shut again, he heard Michael's voice, soft and tender as always.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> "Hang in there, Cassie.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>                                       ****</p><p> </p><p>It is one of those days of the year when winter is not there yet, the days warm but the cold shoots to the peak as soon as the sun goes down.</p><p> </p><p>Dean runs in, rushing to the top. The door is still locked. Unlocking it, he barges in, realizing it is freezing out here.</p><p> </p><p>"Castiel," he tries calling out his name but his throat feels immeasurably tight thinking of the terrible consequences of his prank. His breath is visible in the air as his eyes searched for a familiar figure, finding it lying down, crumpled in a corner of the roof.</p><p> </p><p>Terror consumes Dean as he steps towards the passed out entity, fighting back the panic rising in his chest. He tries calling out his name but Castiel doesn't responds, doesn't move at all. Dean knows nothing, not a damn thing. <em> Did he pass out?  </em>The horrible feeling in his chest grows strong. More than anything, Dean just wants him to be okay. He crouches down near him, his voice trembling of fear. </p><p> </p><p>"Castiel?" </p><p> </p><p>To Dean’s relief, he is breathing, taking in shallow breaths. <em> "Castiel, Cas," </em> he calls out a bit louder, patting against his cheeks, his skin, incredibly pale. </p><p> </p><p>Castiel manages to flicker his eyes open the first time when something warm touches his cheek. <em> He's dreaming again.  </em></p><p> </p><p><em> "Cas. Please, wakeup,"  </em>Dean pats him again. </p><p> </p><p>"I’m sorry, please," he tries apologising, hoping Castiel will respond.</p><p> </p><p><em> I'm sorry, please. </em> Cas hears a faint familiar voice. <em> Is this a dream?  </em>His mind contemplates. It feels quite real. He could hear everything clearly. </p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry," Dean pleads over and over again. This is all his fault. "I am so sorry," he murmurs, low, almost inaudible, rubbing his thumb over Castiel's cheekbone. </p><p> </p><p>Castiel stirred a little, opening his eyes for real this time. He doesn't speak, just stares blankly at Dean, as if he is seeing him for the first time. Dean hesitates at first but doesn't bother removing his palm from Castiel's cheek and caresses his thumb over. </p><p> </p><p>There are no words in which Dean could’ve described the relief he is feeling when he sees Castiel’s eyes open. He is only thankful Castiel is awake and blinking. It takes so much burden off his chest that, honestly, he doesn’t know if he have any more strength left to deal with if anyone else got hurt because of him. He is too shaken up to think straight when he allows himself to lean down, edging closer to Cas without realizing. </p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry," he says looking in his tired glassy blue eyes, meaning every single word.</p><p> </p><p>There is a moment of silence. Dean's actions are unintentional and mainly out of fear or guilt, he doesn't quite understand. He just feels the need to apologize.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel looks confused at first, shivering from cold and having Dean up close when he croaks out, "No-nobody got time for that." </p><p> </p><p>Dean snorts a laugh at the retort, dropping his head as he feels Castiel snuggling close to his side, chasing the warmth. Cas is cold and Dean doesn’t think twice before removing his jacket and covering Cas with it.</p><p> </p><p>                                   ****</p><p> </p><p>Reaching the car, his precious baby, he removes Cas' arm around him, gently getting him inside the shotgun. By the time, his stomach is growling from hunger and it's the same with Cas. Maybe they could hit in a diner before getting home.</p><p> </p><p>To his relief at least Baby is warm and cozy because Castiel still is passed out of exhaustion, his head lulled to the window glass. In the middle of the ride, Dean brings up a hand to check if he has caught a cold, which stirs him back to reality. </p><p> </p><p>"Do not touch me." Castiel blinked coldly.</p><p> </p><p>"You okay there?"</p><p> </p><p>Castiel glanced at him, giving a<em> 'Seriously?' </em> look before replying, "Why wouldn't I be? It was the best day of my life!" </p><p> </p><p>There's the <em> smart mouth </em> for which he was worrying about. Alive and kicking. Dean doesn't say anything; a clever retort wouldn't be the right choice.</p><p> </p><p>To Dean's surprise, Castiel is now wide awake to notice the unusual turn. "I will kill you if you're kidnapping me."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah. That was my secret plan." He continues to drive in silence with Castiel, who is paying attention to every detail on the road. This time of night, it wasn't easy to find a diner that was still open. </p><p> </p><p>They finally found one. Dean turns off the ignition, parking the baby in front of the diner. </p><p> </p><p>                                    ****</p><p> </p><p>Cas is mad. It is clear when he refused Dean's help for the second time when he struggles to walk to the diner. The diner is small and empty beside the staff, who seemed like they're about to wrap up before calling it a night. The entryway is lit, with rows of booths on both sides. Dean smiles at the lady behind the counter before settling in one of the booths.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"You left me to die!" Castiel says looking with an unamused look on his face and an intense stare like he is going to smite the person sitting in front of him.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"But I came back and I am sorry."</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"That will make up for it."</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"You look amazing in that leather jacket," Dean says complimenting his appearance to ease up the atmosphere, which would usually work if it was a girl.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Castiel frowns, watching the terrible attempt go aflame. "I am not some random girl you picked up to get laid."</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Reading the menu, Dean says, almost hiding his flustered face, "You know, I could make up with a kiss."</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"Get lost."</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"Not even if I buy you dinner?"</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"Fuck off," Castiel replies in an instant before his mind slams,<em> No! </em> "You are already buying me dinner."</p><p> </p><p>Dean snort another laugh before giving his order of a grill cheese sandwich, a pie and a milkshake. And when Castiel puts down the menu without ordering anything like the grumpy idiot he is, while staring endlessly from the window, ignoring Dean completely, Dean orders the same for him along with a hot chocolate, hoping to earn forgiveness.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel doesn’t eat once the waitress brings in their order. The smell of freshly grilled sandwich is making his stomach growl but he refrains from eating anything, and simply fold his hand as he studies the dark street from the window. </p><p> </p><p>"I was kidding, Cas," Dean says, eventually, stuffing a big bite of pie in his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>"That is not my name."</p><p> </p><p>"Castiel, please eat," he requests, putting up a fake smile. </p><p> </p><p>After pleading a lot, he finally managed to get some food inside the grumpy idiot, when Cas demands, "I want a burger."</p><p> </p><p>"Burger it is." Dean smiles, raising a hand to place another order.</p><p> </p><p>                              ****</p><p> </p><p>Dean hisses at the first bite. "Man, this burger is hot."</p><p> </p><p>"Why don't you lock it up on a roof?"</p><p> </p><p>Rolling his eyes, Dean sighs. Thinking Cas is never gonna let go of it. The dinner wasn't peaceful at all with Castiel threatening to sue him. The guy is just overreacting. <em> Jeez. </em> Why involve the law and, especially, why complain to Bobby if he wants to put a lawsuit. Courtesy of Sam, he learned a little about law and knows how to settle for a truce, even if that meant Castiel gets to keep his favourite black leather jacket. So be it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you have read the notes in the beginning let me know if there are any errors. Please be gentle with me I'm kinda freaking out. I did my best.<br/>Kudos are always appreciated.<br/>Tell me how was it in the comments. Are you enjoying it so far?<br/>Next chapter will take a while but I promise I will update soon.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Knock. Knock. Look Who's Back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cas moves out. Or does he?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am back Hellers. I know, I know, I am late. So, Its been three months since the confession scene and I am back with a little treat for you guys. I found this prompt which I have also included in this. This one is around 6K so have fun.</p><p>PS: I really wanted to post this on Dean's birthday but something came up. So, Happy Birthday Dean and a Happy three months canon Destiel to all the Hellers.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> What kind of idiot forgets another person on the roof? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Benny and Crowley, beside him, are laughing out as usual. That's the biggest gig for them today.</p><p> </p><p>Physics class is incomplete without Charlie next to him. The gang occupying the last seats with infinite laughs is a whole different kind of vibe. Not long after, Charlie marches in, going whole commando mode on him like he's some kind of crazy ass villain from a shitty drama movie.</p><p> </p><p>"It wasn't on purpose," kicking the chair in front of him, Dean explains the third time in a day. Started with Sammy's lecture, then Benny and now Charlie. </p><p> </p><p>"I'm going to tell Lisa about this." </p><p> </p><p><em> Fucking hell. </em> </p><p> </p><p>"Good luck banging her when she knows how irresponsible you are," Charlie threatens him, crossing her arms. He's not the only one receiving threats, the two idiots beside him are going through the same for helping him out. </p><p> </p><p>Dean can't help but remember the time he received a text with a smiley face saying<em> I'm so happy for you two </em>from none other than Charlie because, apparently, Castiel texted her the same news about the idiot living in the house. </p><p> </p><p>Charlie grabs a seat when the professor walks in, putting an end to their conversation. </p><p> </p><p>Dean became friends with her the first day of physics class when he tried to hit on her. Apparently, she swings the other way, which is cool, but she found a perfect match for him. Lisa Braeden. She's hot. Smiles every time Dean smirks at her, which is good. He thinks. But Dean has never approached her that way. He's been waiting around for a perfect moment.</p><p> </p><p>                      ***</p><p> </p><p>Last night was tiring as hell for Castiel. Taking a day off seems like a nice plan. He isn't quite satisfied with the truce of yesterday, the leather jacket reminds him of jocks and bullies from high school, but Dean loves that thing and taking it away from him forever seems like a good way to take revenge. </p><p> </p><p>Although Dean stopped by his room this morning, still putting up a nice act, he dropped in some meds and Castiel remembers him saying something about breakfast. The whole time he was there, Castiel didn't say anything. He's mad. Dean got that and so he didn’t push more before leaving him alone.</p><p> </p><p>Without Dean around, his day at home couldn't have been more peaceful. Talking with Gabriel only made his headache worse, so he switched to Charlie. It's fun how she could talk non stop without being annoying. Cas huffs a laugh when she mentions about threatening Dean if he ever tries to lock him up again.</p><p> </p><p>Few minutes into the conversation she informs, "There's a party this weekend." </p><p> </p><p>A casual party only for fresher's students like them to get to know each other. But a fun version because Crowley, who claims to be king, is hosting it along with few of his other lads.</p><p> </p><p>Hearing the word party his mind goes for a straight <em> No. Never. He hates it</em>. The whole concept of it: drinking, heavy music, dancing, hooking around. The whole atmosphere is suffocating. </p><p> </p><p>After a lot of insisting from the other end of the call, he says, "I'll think about it," before hanging up the phone. He tosses it away. </p><p> </p><p>He rests, hoping to figure it out tomorrow.</p><p> </p><p>                            ****</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Castiel spends the next few days in search of a new place because who is he kidding? It's a daily migraine to live here and the dorm is not even an option; the rooms are way too small and crowded, not to mention the restrictions. Luckily enough, he got shortlisted for the spare apartment a block away from the university and he couldn't be happier about it; he is all packed, ready to move out and, surprisingly enough, Winchester has not made any efforts to sabotage his plan.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel has <em> almost </em> moved out. Finally, the day arrives. He doesn't feel the need to bid good-bye to his fellow housemate, who is still asleep at three in the afternoon. God knows when he came back last night.</p><p> </p><p>But something about his luck is not quite cooperating since Winchester entered his life. He has already made the payment from his savings to the agent, who was supposed to meet him around the corner along with the spare key and help him move in, but, not only did he got stood up over a text, the owner also decided to change his decision at the last moment and rent the place to some family rather than a wicked lone some guy going through his college phase.</p><p> </p><p><em> God. Why? </em> He even considered staying in the cab, which would make a good home. His luggage is stuffed in the back anyways and he could drive it anytime. A home and a transport. But the driver keeps on giving him looks of pity from the rearview mirror as he drives aimlessly after receiving the most precise directions. "Any place where there’s a spare room."</p><p> </p><p>Castiel thinks about crashing in a motel but he wouldn't survive more than a night. He’s not only homeless but broke too. After driving for a long time, the driver said, "Dude, you gotta give me some directions."</p><p> </p><p>Tired, Castiel gives up on the apartment hunt by the time evening rolls on. He went through all the trouble just to find himself back at the same porch. <em> God. </em> He <em> hates </em> this. He <em> hates </em> his <em> life. </em> </p><p> </p><p>Hoping Winchester is asleep, he goes for the doorknob, thinking he will move back in quietly without making a complete fool of himself, but his luck has yet to hit the rock bottom because the door is locked from inside. <em> Great. </em></p><p> </p><p>Dean hears the doorbell the first time but thinks whoever it is can wait. Walking lazily, he opens the door and closes it back immediately with a gasp like he has seen a ghost, leaving no time for Castiel to grab the door before it shuts back right at his face.</p><p> </p><p>"Did you forget something?" Dean shouts from inside, loud enough for Castiel to hear it.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel tries to push the door open but it is locked again. "Yes. I live here."</p><p> </p><p>Dean smiles to himself, saying, "Sorry, man, I don't let strangers into the house and, besides, someone once lectured me to don't open the door wide open for everyone. They could be serial killer."</p><p> </p><p>Yeah. That was Castiel who lectured him and took away his TV privileges for a stupid mistake.</p><p> </p><p>"I am not playing your stupid game. Open the door."</p><p> </p><p>Of course Dean is gonna open the door but he is gonna have his fun first. It is funny that Castiel came back, after making snappy comments about moving away and being free from Dean for once and for all.</p><p> </p><p>Guarding the door, Dean says, "I will cut the deal short for you. I will consider opening the door if you ask me politely."</p><p> </p><p>"Let me in," Castiel says in a plain tone.</p><p> </p><p>"Sounds like an order to me. I think you can do better," Dean says.</p><p> </p><p><em> What did I do to deserve this? </em> Castiel takes in a deep breath to calm himself from the frustration building up inside him. "<em>Please</em>, let me in," he says, stressing at please.</p><p> </p><p>"Nah. Not in the mood." Dean shrugs off.</p><p> </p><p>"You said you will open," Castiel says. It is the same thing happening all over again.</p><p> </p><p>"I said I would <em> consider</em>," Dean is laughing quietly by now thankful enough that Castiel can't see him.</p><p> </p><p>"When I get in, then help me God-" Castiel grits angrily, bracing himself as he warns Dean, reeling back a little. </p><p> </p><p>He knows he is never getting in this way so he might as well break down the damn door and make Winchester pay for it. <em>He is strong.</em> <em>Right?</em> And, unlike the metal door from the rooftop, this one is a wooden door, pretty fragile and an old one, which will make his job easy.</p><p> </p><p>Listening to the threat from the other side of the door, Dean knows he has seriously pissed off Castiel and it is the right time to let him in.</p><p> </p><p>Apparently too late for Castiel to stop because he is already in motion. He rushes forward towards the entry with his entire strength when Dean flies the door open exactly at the last moment, greeting cheerfully, "Welcome baaaaaa—"</p><p> </p><p><em> Woah. </em> Dean wasn't prepared for anything like that to happen when Castiel crashes right into him, cutting him off mid-sentence and throwing him stumbling back, misbalanced, but, luckily enough, he manages to get control and prevent himself from falling back, unlike Castiel, who slips halfway through, causing Dean to catch him and keep him from falling all the way down.</p><p> </p><p>Dean has a tight grip on Castiel's arm so the idiot doesn't slam his head on the floor and gets more crazy than he already is. Castiel's fight and flight instinct kicked in when he slipped and he clutched Dean's forearm, somehow managing not to fall face flat on the floor but falling on his knees.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel looks up at the man standing above him and holding his arm as Dean returns the glance, both of them still contemplating. <em> What the hell just happened? </em></p><p> </p><p>Castiel looks terrified because he still hasn't let go, but that doesn't stop Dean from uttering out a clever retort that suits the situation.</p><p> </p><p>"On your <em> knees </em> already," Dean says, smirking and enjoying every bit of it.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel frowns at first, tilting his head to the side and watching Dean, when it comes to him: of course Winchester is mocking him. His expression changes seriously as ever. "In your dreams," he spits back, letting go of the hold quickly and standing back on his feet.</p><p> </p><p>"You don't have to <em> fall </em> for me every time, you know that, right?" Dean says, winking.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel's hand balls into a tight fist. It is taking all his will power to not hit the man before him. "Keep talking like that and I won't hesitate to punch you again."</p><p> </p><p>It's time to shut it. Dean thinks. There aren’t enough ice cubes in the refrigerator. And it hurts a lot. "Why are you acting so rude, I just saved you, man."</p><p> </p><p>"Why did you open the door?" Castiel asks, irritated with everything.</p><p> </p><p><em> What kind of question is that? </em> Dean thinks before speaking, "because you asked me to."</p><p> </p><p>Castiel rolls his eyes at the response. <em> This is what my life has come to? </em></p><p> </p><p>That is enough drama for today. "I'm going to make us dinner and you can settle back in without disturbing me and return the shampoo back to the bathroom," Dean informs.</p><p> </p><p>"Why do you care about my shampoo?"</p><p> </p><p>"Because I use it and you took it away so my flawless hair is looking less awesome today." Running a hand through his hairs, Dean smirks again.</p><p> </p><p><em> What a narcissist. </em> Castiel thinks before his mind catches up. "You used my shampoo?" Castiel eyes widens on hearing the response.</p><p> </p><p>"Everyday, man. Your hair is always messed up, anyways. You don't need it." Dean states as a matter of fact.</p><p> </p><p><em> "EVERYDAY?" </em> Castiel gasps in horror. <em> Oh! My! God! </em> He will <em> faint </em> soon. He is so concerned about one word that his mind totally forgets the insult about his hair. "I'm too tired to have this conversation. I need a nap," he says, taking in a deep breath before walking past Dean.</p><p> </p><p>"So your bags are just gonna rot on our doorway," Dean calls back, raising an eyebrow skeptically.</p><p> </p><p>Grumpily, Castiel returns with the same speed and struggles with the huge and heavy luggage, panting, "I'm gonna take these back then I will take a nap,"</p><p> </p><p>Castiel tries to get all the bags at once and ends up getting them stuck as Dean watches him kicking the stupid bags and cursing himself. Dean enjoys the scene before he offers to help, feeling bad for Castiel. "Why don't you take your nap and I will take care of them and dinner?" Dean says pointing at the bags.</p><p> </p><p><em> Why is he offering to help? </em> Castiel pauses, looking between Dean and the bags. <em> What are his intentions? </em> It is all his fault, anyways, so he should be guilty and offer help. Everything has happened because of him. If he wasn't here, then maybe Castiel wouldn't be looking for another place. Castiel doesn't think twice before hurriedly getting out of the sight and leaving Dean alone.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>          ****</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Weekend rolls. In a click, it’s seven pm. </p><p> </p><p>Still in a dilemma, Castiel is nervous as he picks out the perfect outfit for the party. His friends dragged him against his will, so there is no room for backing out at the last moment. </p><p> </p><p>Although he feels bad for only rinsing his hair and not shampooing them because of Winchester. After Castiel refused to buy a new bottle, Dean also gave a firm competition, saying he cooks for both of them, which means Castiel should make up for other things like fetching groceries and other items. Castiel is already mad at Dean for plenty of reasons so it <em> is </em> Dean's duty to cook meals for him. So yeah, if Dean is not buying shampoo for himself, then Castiel is not buying it either. They are both waiting for each other. Which is childish because they are both equally stubborn.</p><p> </p><p>Staring at the closet, he literally has no idea what to wear. A little help from his brother, Gabriel, is satisfying after coming out fully dressed in his white shirt and black pants. After a long negotiation, Gabriel convinces him to lose the jacket of the three piece suit along with the tie at the end. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He's ready. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Arriving at the destination, he braces himself on the way into the huge mansion. He is early maybe, the place is fairly lit, there's a group by the music system setting it up. Searching around the place, his eyes land on Winchester who hasn't been home since<em> when? </em> This afternoon. He is talking to Jo, yet another one of their common friends, when he spots him at the same time.</p><p> </p><p>Jo might get his distraction when she turns around. There's a pause when she looks back and forth between both of them before waving a hand to Castiel and snapping him out of the staring contest.</p><p> </p><p>To ease the discomfort, she excuses herself from Dean to accompany him. Castiel doesn't know if his style is really good or if everyone is lying. He believed the first few compliments, mainly from Charlie and Garth, who hugged him at first sight after being dragged to the temporary bar set up in one corner of the place.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Lisa is not here yet by the time Dean is done helping Crowley with the lights, wiring and stuff. The place is all set. He's chatting with Crowley after coming out dressed, admiring the hard work of the place. </p><p> </p><p>His eyes keep drifting to where Castiel is seated in the bar area. He simply watches him talking to his friends with a coke in one hand. Cas tilts his head to the side when something doesn't please him, and he looks away from the nerd Asian dude when he notices Dean. His gaze finds Dean across the room for a moment and he looks away abruptly like he has seen a ghost.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> It was hilarious. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Let's grab drinks," Crowley chimes in, noticing Dean's interest. </p><p> </p><p>They walk over to the group. "Name's Crowley," he says, offering a hand to Cas. "Big fan, by the way," he continues, while Dean orders drinks for everyone.</p><p> </p><p>"Looking <em> hot</em>, Novak," Dean says, turning his attention to Castiel, smirking, which earns quite a cheer from everyone.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel isn't blushing.<em> No, he isn't</em>. There was a faint blush raising his cheeks when everyone around him cheered before he schooled his features back to serious. That is a great compliment but it's coming from <em> Winchester</em>, so, of course, he's making fun of him. He's doing it on purpose, knowing how much it irritates Castiel. And he doesn't stop there. He had to wink at him, earning yet another round of cheer from Charlie mainly and a wide eye glare from Castiel. He doesn’t like anyone talking to him like this. It makes him feel a bit uncomfortable.</p><p> </p><p>Dean stands there, with a shit eating grin on his face and raising an eyebrow, but says nothing and Castiel feels the need to defend his honour. He hates the faint feeling of vulnerability he gets when Dean says good things about him or flirts with him every so often to leave him frustrated and confused at the same time. Castiel stands high on his heels and finally says, "I feel nothing for you. Absolutely nothing!"</p><p> </p><p>"Is that so?" Dean asks in the tone of amusement and mockery. That escalated quickly.</p><p> </p><p>"Nothing!"</p><p> </p><p>With a smirk, Dean takes a step forward, building up the charm, and advances on Castiel, who refuses to back down. Castiel swallows thickly when he stops right in front of him. The same time lights go off to dimly lit as faint music starts buzzing in the background.</p><p> </p><p>"Welcome to hell," Crowley announces the beginning of a long and fun night.</p><p> </p><p>Dean stretches his arm out, snapping Castiel's attention back to meet green eyes, and sending him tensing to the edge as Dean swiftly slides his hand to take the drinks off the counter, while brushing Cas' arm in the process. Cas' discomfort is visible, he stands frozen, clenching his jaw, doing his best not to look directly at Dean. "Relax princess, I'm not gonna jump on you"</p><p> </p><p>"Not unless you ask me to anyway," he adds, before removing himself from the spot with yet another wink.</p><p> </p><p>Dean only sticks around with them for one drink and then he’s gone, which is a relief because Garth, Charlie and even Kevin are giving Cas weird looks. They heard everything Dean just said and now they think he's sweet. If only they know what a monster he really is.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel remains silent the rest of the night, he watches as the room fills with students, some known faces and some unknown. Honestly, he enjoys only the first few minutes when the music wasn't brimming through his ears. It's an annoyingly loud sound, which everyone else finds entertaining. Winchester is lurking around with some girl, Castiel sighs as he sees, Charlie and Garth are already hitting the dance floor. The lights are dimmed out for no reason, providing the dance floor with flashes of light. It's giving him a stroke, it's suffocating. "I need some fresh air," he shouts over the sound of music, leaving Kevin at the bar.</p><p> </p><p>Walking away from the crowd, he finds himself standing by the pool, inhaling deeply the fresh air. It is nice and quiet over here, not too many people or too much noise, just some nice chilly wind sweeping swiftly, touching his face, smoothly ruffling his hair. He closes his eyes, surrendering himself to the feeling.</p><p> </p><p>"Asstiel!"</p><p> </p><p>A strangely familiar voice speaks from behind him. He turns around, finding a familiar figure from high school approaching him. <em> Alastair</em>. He sucks in a shocked gasp. Alastair is grinning at him.</p><p> </p><p>"Little Cassie is scared?"</p><p> </p><p>Castiel stares at him. He can't breathe, his heart is hurting his ribs, he can't speak, the tightness of his throat is killing him. "I'm not scared of you or your bastards. Not anymore," Castiel forces the words out, muttering in a deep voice.</p><p> </p><p>"Got quite a big mouth on you… Didn't Michael teach you some manners?"</p><p> </p><p>Clenching his jaw, Castiel grits, "Don't say his name with your filthy mouth."</p><p> </p><p>Alastair walks closer, questioning, "Or what? You can't do anything and big bro is not around to punish me." He just knows the right nerve to prick Castiel.</p><p> </p><p>Throughout high school, Castiel had managed well to ignore Alastair and half of the people from the soccer team. He never fought back or said anything when they used him as a punching bag or insulted him to the point that he had almost no friends. Maybe he deserved it, all the hate and agony of others. It's just something he had to survive even if it meant letting those jerks take out their anger on him. It's been a long way since he left the past behind to start his new journey and, this time, he's not going to make the same mistakes. He's not going to let Alastair invade it.</p><p> </p><p>Hearing these witty insults triggers something inside him, causing the suppressed emotions to bubble up to the surface when he throws his fist directly at him, not caring about the consequences. His mind is hot red. He's angry. Frustrated. Has been for so long.</p><p> </p><p>"You are in so much trouble, loser," Alastair barks before attacking Cas.</p><p> </p><p>The fight swirls around quickly, getting rougher with every punch. "You will pay for everything," Castiel deems, his voice sounding much of a threat. Normally, Castiel wouldn’t get in fights, not like this, but he makes an exception for an old account to settle. </p><p> </p><p>He crumbles to the ground when Alastair punches his cheekbone harshly. Right now, he doesn't care about the pain, but he struggles to get up on his feet only to kick Alastair on his stomach, and, in an instant, he's on top of Alastair. ”<em>This is for throwing me into lockers.”  </em>Throwing punch after punch, he avenges for everything. ”<em>This is for locking me up.</em> <em>This is for making Michael worry about me everyday.”</em></p><p> </p><p>By now, the fight has already caught the attention of the crowd inside, some people have even gotten out to cheer. Dean is inside with Lisa when Charlie approaches him. "Your roommate has picked up a fight with Alastair, you gotta help me stop him."</p><p> </p><p>"Why me?"</p><p> </p><p>"Please! You're my only hope" Charlie pleads. The rest of the group is either too drunk or too hard to find on the dark dance floor.</p><p> </p><p>"I will call you," he parts his way, assuring Lisa this isn't over before he proceeds to follow Charlie.</p><p> </p><p>"Holy shit," Dean curses on seeing Cas punching Alastair on the face brutally, Alastair lying unconscious on the ground. </p><p> </p><p>He rushes towards Cas to separate them. "Get off him. You don't wanna do this," Dean tries pushing Castiel off Alastair.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel can't hear anything, his mind is focused on one thing and one thing only, he wants Alastair to suffer the same way he did. He will fight anyone who comes in his way, he's lost and before he knows he ends up holding Dean's collar and hitting him. "Stay out of this, Winchester," he warns before going back to smiting Alastair.</p><p> </p><p>Charlie comes with Crowley, who shouts at them, "Stop ruining my party, take your fight outside."</p><p> </p><p>"Let's go, Castiel, leave the guy," Charlie says in a soft tone, placing a hand on Castiel's shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>Aching and throbbing. His knuckles hurt. Electricity is jolting up his arm as Alastair lies underneath him, his face is bleeding, he had stopped fighting back long ago when Dean interrupted him, he's unconscious maybe, he's breathing comes shuddering. Castiel literally has no idea how he did this. How could he be so cruel in anger.</p><p> </p><p>Finally, Castiel takes her advice and gets off Alastair. He’s breathing heavily and panting. Staring down at the unconscious man, he takes one last look before giving him one final kick on his stomach. "And this is for all your fucking bastards," he shouts, turning away from the mess.</p><p> </p><p>The storm inside him has settled for now, it's satisfying to at least teach that bastard a lesson. He doesn't look at his friends or anyone. He can't look them in the eye. He knows the look everyone around is giving.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> What the fuck did he just do? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>His hands are shaking as he retreats like a warrior returning from a war, claiming his victory which was due for several years. There's only one stone left. Dean's standing in his way. "You are coming with me right now," sounding pissed, Dean states.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Cas is bleeding a lot—he has blood stains all over his white shirt, he has some cuts from the glass pieces that pierce the skin of his right shoulder and arm, his head hurts, bleeding slightly above the left eyebrow from falling on tables, and his lips bleeding on the corner. The car ride home is silent and awfully painful, he can't believe he did that to someone.</p><p> </p><p>All the way back, Dean doesn't say a word—he surely is mad at Cas for punching him for no good at all but, in his mind, he keeps thinking that this guy is on fire since morning, no wonder he couldn't let go of an opportunity like that. Castiel just sits there in silence, trying to get words from his mouth, but not being able to bring up the courage to speak. </p><p> </p><p>Arriving home, Dean walks in a quick pace, going inside to gather the first aid kid, a few clean towels and napkins. Meanwhile, Castiel settles on the nearest chair. Exhausted of bodily ache. He sighs.</p><p> </p><p>When Dean returns with the first aid, he looks confused. <em> Why is Dean helping him? </em> "You really don't have to do—" he gets cut off when Dean shoots a death glare at him, seeming in no mood to argue.</p><p> </p><p>Dean places all the stuff on the table, still not speaking a word. Castiel spares a glance, looking at the first aid kit and the other stuff placed on the table when a firm hand grabs his jaw tightly and forces him to look up and hold his head in position. Castiel can't lie but he <em> is </em> a bit scared of the look on Dean's face.</p><p> </p><p>Dean reaches over quickly with his free hand, bringing the cotton near Castiel's face while using his other hand to push Castiel’s hair back, to keep it from falling on the wound. Surprisingly gently, he then slowly dabs at the forehead wound with the cotton while Cas just sits still, staring at Dean with his big, blue eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Not speaking, Dean proceeds to clean the cuts Castiel received by falling on the glass table by the pool. He soaks it in alcohol before he leans down to get a better look as he carefully dabs at the blood dripping from his forehead.</p><p> </p><p>In spite of biting the inside of his mouth to resist making any sound, Castiel fails when the alcohol stings his skin. "Ouch," he makes soft noise, closing his eyes when Dean begins cleaning up.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel doesn't make it any easier for Dean to clean up. It hurts. It stings. He jerks his head away the moment Dean brings the cotton up for the second time.</p><p> </p><p>Still not talking. Dean has no choice. His free hand finds its way back to hold Castiel's jaw. And, this time, he refrains from releasing his grip as he works on the cleaning.</p><p> </p><p>Cas is helpless, not being to do anything but stare at Dean. It's the first time he notices him this closely, all of his other thoughts fading away. His mind is only concerned at Dean<em>. Why is he doing this? </em> Losing track of his thoughts, his mind is lost in deep green eyes and admiring those freckles, that clenched and perfect jawline. No wonder he could pick a girl at the party that easily.</p><p> </p><p>For a second, he thinks Dean is looking back into his eyes but he goes back to working again, applying bandages and pressing it against the wound.</p><p> </p><p>Dean has not said a word since they got home. The awkward silence is killing Castiel from the inside. He knows Dean is mad at him for hitting him but Dean had it coming anyways. Castiel has refrained himself a lot in the past few days but he feels kinda bad? Maybe? He wasn't in his right mind. He was angry. He's not like that. He would never do something that brutal. He just wants to explain it. His actions. Everything. Dean can hit him if he wants to. He will accept it. Happily. That burden needs to get off from his chest because the silent treatment is killing him.</p><p> </p><p>He finally brings up the courage to speak only to get cut off, "I, umm—"</p><p> </p><p>"Save it," Dean shots back.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel doesn't know what to say.</p><p> </p><p>He brings his hand up. Unsure. Slowly, he wraps his finger around Dean's wrist, demanding him to stop working and talk to him. "Dean," he breathes quietly. It's a loose and weak hold but it gets Dean's attention. It’s the first time he calls Dean by his name, avoiding the use of his last one.</p><p> </p><p>Dean's freezes on hearing his name, his hands stop working when he feels the small warmth curling around his wrist. He looks between his wrist and Cas' puppy blue eyes staring at him.</p><p> </p><p>"Talk to me. Please," Castiel pleads, bringing Dean's hand down.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"Talk to you about what, huh? That crazy shit?"</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"He said something and I couldn't help it, I lost my temper," Castiel sighs, looking anywhere but Dean.</p><p> </p><p>"You’ve lost your <em> mind</em>. Are you even aware that something serious could have happened to both of you? Trust me, I’ve been there and it doesn't end well," Dean says with a concerned face.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel never expected Dean to give a crap or patch him up, but he clearly must have misjudged him. He's not the bad guy. Maybe. He doesn't know.</p><p> </p><p>"I just wanted him to know I'm not like before. I can stand up for myself." Castiel looks up at Dean before averting his eyes to the floor.</p><p> </p><p>Again, no reply. </p><p> </p><p>Dean turns in to patch the forehead head wound when he comes across a faded scar on Cas' skin.</p><p> </p><p>Moving a finger along the skin, he asks carefully, "This one hurts?"</p><p> </p><p>"It did. Years ago, when I first received it," Castiel answers.</p><p> </p><p>"What war brought this little gift?"</p><p> </p><p>"You really don't remember?"</p><p> </p><p>Don't remember what? It's been just a few days with this guy. Not like Dean had done some research on him, Dean contemplates in his thoughts. Life's tough sometimes. "Can't believe someone can do this," Dean says low, which gets Cas' attention and his head snaps up. </p><p> </p><p>"You did this." He can't believe he's talking to Dean about it.</p><p> </p><p>Dean looks lost. Is he not falsely blaming him? He doesn't remember hurting anyone like this. He has been in fights. A lot of fights. But this, this is not him. Not really. Even in the drunk fights he leaves a room for mercy. And his mind works fine, he would have remembered Castiel. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Castiel begins to elaborate. It was back during high school days, they were kids. Castiel was nothing like he's today. He was a timid little nerd kid who got bullied easily. It goes way back when Dean was the new kid. He remembered Dean. He was mostly used to lying back and watching Alastair and his friends bully people like him. Except for one day when they forced Dean to participate. They were watching him from a distance when Dean came around him and pushed him from behind. He went past him hurriedly as Castiel fell on the ground. His head hit the concrete and some stone left the mark. It was only a few days after that he heard the news that Dean had left. No wonder he doesn't remember the incident at all.</p><p> </p><p>Dean stares at him in silence. He never had a permanent school, he used to move around a lot. Never got the chance to stick around more than a month, changing school was the same as changing a new outfit, too many places, too many people, too many fights. Except for Sammy, nothing in his life has been constant so far.</p><p> </p><p>A moment passes by and he doesn't have any memory of it, although Dean remembers it vaguely. He has always felt a familiarity in those blue eyes. From the first day when he stumbled on the staircase. Except for the intense gaze, the memory holds a tremor in the glance.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Shit. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>It all makes sense. That's why Castiel hated him all along. Well, he has every reason to. There's only one thing ringing in Dean's ear right now. He needs to make it right. Whatever it takes.</p><p> </p><p>Looking down at Castiel, it breaks Dean's heart a little to watch the hurt on that beautiful face. He feels this urge rising inside to hold the man staring at him. He acts on it simply not thinking twice as he curls his hand around Castiel and embraces him.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry," he says, rubbing Castiel's back for the harm he has caused unknowingly.</p><p> </p><p>It takes a few seconds for Cas to realise what Dean is doing, his body flinching at first before relaxing completely, his head rests around the taller man's stomach as he closes his eyes for a brief heartbeat. He never expected Dean to give a damn or even apologize after so many years. Is he changed? Or this is real him? He doesn't know. But it feels good. For the first time, Castiel doesn't have that stinky feeling against his rival.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry," he says with a pause in between, "For everything," Dean repeats quietly before releasing him. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"I'll never hurt you again," Dean whispers like a promise before letting go completely.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel doesn't know what to say right now so he goes with his guts, which is to reassure him with a tainted smile, a small one to loosen Dean up from the guilt. He's so different when he comes around matters like this. Castiel remembered him at the rooftop when Dean came looking for him worried sick.</p><p> </p><p>Mirroring the smile, Dean speaks, "Does that means I get to call you Cas?"</p><p> </p><p>They <em> are </em> stuck together for four years of college, anyways, so why not make the best out of it?</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah," Castiel says. </p><p> </p><p><em> Cas. </em> He likes it. Strange how no one has ever thought of shortening his name like that. It is much easier than Cassie.</p><p> </p><p>"But I still hate you, Winchester," the venom spills back so Dean doesn't take him for granted.</p><p> </p><p>"Right back at you, Novak," Dean snaps back, pressing a little tighter at the wound and getting a yelp out of Cas on purpose.</p><p> </p><p>He chuckles.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And then they were friends.<br/>Wait. Are they friends? I don't know</p><p>Dean is not that bad right?<br/>Tell me how was this one in the comments and how do you guys feel about these two idiots. As always kudos are always appreciated.</p><p>And a little heads up. This fic is gonna be more than 15 chapters. I still have to plan out the endings, I have written only a rough first draft. Also, I want you guys to know no matter how late it gets I will always come back. I know I am terrible at the updates.</p><p>A big shout out to those 3-4 people who always comment. I love you guys. And Thank you to everyone who is reading this.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Hush, I'm Here To Hold You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cas is a mess.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! Lovely Hellers!<br/>Deancas are getting married today. How are we feeling?<br/>I don't know what's gonna happen today but if Chad doesn't gives us the wedding then let's just celebrate the day like we did with Dean's Birthday. Spread happiness. Pretend Dean and Cas are getting married in heaven and slow dancing to the tune of Elvis. It is soft and everything they have ever longed for.</p><p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Something in the back of his mind keeps him awake. Castiel stands on the balcony, hands on the cold railing, his warm feet gradually matching the temperature of the floor. The wind is bitterly cold out here, but he doesn't bother putting another layer over his pyjamas. </p><p> </p><p>Dean. He can't seem to understand him. What is real and what is not? There was honesty in his embrace when he had hugged Castiel. It was unexpected but calm. The calmness of a stormy sea, or something similar. He turned out to be the complete opposite of what Castiel had thought so, maybe, there is a small chance they will be okay. Castiel doesn't have to be friends with him and maybe it's okay if can’t let go of his anger, but he can do this. They are going to be fine.</p><p> </p><p>Eyes wandering down at the houses and the empty street. The sky above him is quite dark, except for the glowing moonlight striking down his face, bringing out his gleaming blue eyes. Standing out alone in a chilly night, doing nothing except for staring out, his mind wanders to the past, about how life turned out for him, things that could have been different if he hadn't let Michael go alone, which is still the greatest regret of his life.</p><p> </p><p>As a brother, Michael was always there for him. He was the only one Cas could really open up too. Gabriel was also there for him but he was more of a trickster, always taking things less seriously. He sighs, staring into the emptiness for a long time before going back to bed.</p><p> </p><p>The morning after he finds Dean in the kitchen with some guest. "Lisa, this is Castiel, he also lives here, and Cas, this is Lisa," Dean introduces him to the girl occupying his usual seat.</p><p> </p><p>"Hello, Lisa," Castiel greets, offering a soft smile. She is the first guest so far so he should be polite. Although he recognized her from university, she was also there at the sick party.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, Castiel." Lisa returns his gesture. "We're going out, would you like to join us?" she asks.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel eyes her and then the man cooking in front of him, and, from the way Dean is smirking, it's pretty clear he has found his prey.</p><p> </p><p>"Thanks for the offer but my body is longing for rest so I'll stay here." Sipping the coffee, he speaks, "You two should carry on."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, we should get going, Liz," Dean says, wrapping up with his cooking.</p><p> </p><p>"It was nice meeting you, Cas," Lisa says with a smile, gathering her purse.</p><p> </p><p>Dean freaking Winchester told her about the nickname too?</p><p> </p><p>"It was nice meeting you too," Castiel responds. "Have a great time together," he calls out as they leave.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel is looking forward to a peaceful day ahead, so, as soon as they leave, he has everything planned, including his due tasks, editing, assignments, homework. Procrastinating already, it bothers him because he still has no idea how Dean manages everything; he barely sees him study and, not to forget, he always ditches the literature class. But, unlike Dean, Castiel has grades to keep up, otherwise, his scholarship will be taken away and he is not the type of person willing to sit around doing nothing, so, instead of wasting his precious time, he would rather be more productive.</p><p> </p><p>The dead silence of the living room always seems perfect for Cas to bury his nose in a book. He has this weird habit of fiddling with the corner of a page whenever he gets stuck, his fingers find their way around the edge to the top left corner of the page, causing it to wrinkle every now and then. With the passage of time, he makes himself more comfortable, so he’s not longer in his initial position, but, instead, he has his legs sprawled up on the couch with the book resting on his lap.</p><p> </p><p>Last night, he didn't really get much sleep and, now, with turning pages back and forth, paying attention to each and every word, he’s tired as hell. Exhausted, he finally takes a break, placing the book along with his reading glasses on the coffee table. His head lulls to the armrest of the couch, seeking comfort before he closes his eyes for a brief moment, slowly dozing off to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>It’s not after a long time that Dean barges in, not surprised to find Cas at the same place from when he left off. </p><p> </p><p>"Nap time's over, wake up," he calls out playfully, entering the living room.</p><p> </p><p>"WAKE UP!!" Dean shouts, coming closer.</p><p> </p><p>Waking up by loud noises is not exactly Castiel's cup of tea. He is more used to waking up by the sound of his alarm or birds chirping, or sometimes Gabriel throwing a pillow at him, but Dean yelling in his Batman voice truly freaked him out. He literally jumps out of the couch, and, when he tries to roll over, being quite unaware of his surroundings, he lands face-down on the floor between the gap of the coffee table and the couch.</p><p> </p><p>Dean never intended for his voice to come out harsh and for it to echo into the silence of the living room, scaring the little kitty awake, but he kinda enjoyed the view. Smiling to himself, he walks towards the fallen angel. Soon, his smile fades away, being replaced by a frown when he finds Cas lying on the floor.</p><p> </p><p>"You okay?" Dean says, sounding worried when he sees Cas lying on his side, curled up into a ball and sobbing quietly with his knees on his chest.</p><p> </p><p>He crouches down next to him, not quite certain of what really happened here; maybe Cas was having a bad dream or a nightmare when he scared him away. </p><p> </p><p>"Cas, hey," he says, eyebrows furrowing together in concern.</p><p> </p><p>"It's okay... It's okay," he says softly, trying to comfort him by placing a hand on his back. <em> Awkward </em>.</p><p> </p><p>Cas sobs are ragged and broken when Dean slowly begins rubbing his back up and down. Somehow, Dean is here but he doesn't want him to be. He doesn't want to show him his fragile side. Back in the days, when he and Gabriel shared a room, sometimes he would wake up from a nightmare in the middle of the night mumbling his name, shivering, with tears rolling down his cheeks, but, every time, Gabe was there for him, to comfort him, to hold him, to tuck him back to sleep. This time, though, Gabe isn't there and he certainly doesn't want to be alone, not right now. </p><p> </p><p>Right now, all he wants is to cry, to weep, to pierce the veil that was holding back his tears for so long.</p><p> </p><p>Dean isn't a pro in handling a breakdown but he does know some things about being more comforting, hell, he has done before with Sam, when he had his first breakup in high school because that Sarah girl dumped him, and, more or less, Sam and Cas are practically the same, so it's not a big deal for him. </p><p> </p><p>Dean is sitting next to him, comforting him, when he says, "C'mere," trying to get Cas up in a sitting position. </p><p> </p><p>Shaking his head, Castiel refuses, staying curled up.</p><p> </p><p>The hand on Cas' shoulder comes to rest with the thumb brushing the side of his neck lightly, and Dean insists, "Let me help. Cas… C'mere,"</p><p> </p><p>Castiel swallows, scrubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand, his eyes burning with tears. He tries sitting up, staying quiet, and he doesn't say anything when Dean's arm goes around his shoulders. </p><p> </p><p>The arm guides him against his will until his head rests on a broad surface with his ear listening to a beating sound coming from underneath. "I've got you," Dean says, holding Cas against his chest.</p><p> </p><p>Two arms come to wrap around Dean's neck and a face sinks to hide between his neck and shoulder. Having a meltdown is normal but not being able to handle is another low. Usually, Castiel would manage it alone but this time it's bad. Choking on sobs, shivering, also wanting to crawl down in a hole and disappear because he doesn't want anyone to see the mess he really is. He doesn't know what to do. And Dean is here, making it worse.</p><p> </p><p>"It's okay, Cas, it's okay, I've got you, let it out," Dean says in a soft tone, his hand rubbing circles on his back. Not a chick flick moment. Just a dude helping out another dude.</p><p> </p><p>Dean hates emotion that makes people miserable. Like this. It's not fair. He isn't sure why he's helping but he's desperate to do anything to stop Castiel from crying. He can't stand to see him like this. Helpless and sobbing.</p><p> </p><p>There's a comfort in Dean's voice which causes Castiel to confess, "It's all my fault, I-I could have saved him," he mumbles in his neck, his voice breaking mid sentence.</p><p> </p><p>A quieter sob escapes Castiel's throat as Dean whispers against his ear, "You can't save everyone, Cas," He pulls him into a tight hug hoping the sobbing man feels safe and stops shaking.</p><p> </p><p>Although Dean has no idea what Cas is talking about, one thing is certain: something is pretty messed up. Dean gently leans back, supporting his back on the couch, along with the added weight on him. His legs are stretched out on the floor forming a 'V' with Cas sitting between them. He allows the head to fall on his shoulder as he leans back.</p><p> </p><p>"But he-he didn't deserve it," Castiel whimpers in a shaky voice, burying his head on Dean's shoulder. He can't bring himself to pull away. He cries on the flannel as Dean continues to stroke up and down in his back.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, look at me."</p><p> </p><p>Castiel looks up after a moment with red veins highlighting his blue eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks, hands still not willing to unwrap around Dean's neck. They are close enough that, if it wasn’t for his blurry vision, Cas would be able to identify every freckle on Dean's face. </p><p> </p><p>On seeing those watery eyes, Dean can't help but bring up his hand to wipe the tears away. His hand ends up cupping Cas' tear stained cheek when a drop of tear, which he was supposed to blink away, rolls down from his wet eyelashes, disappearing into the hand cupping his face, giving Dean a chance to wipe it away. </p><p> </p><p>He brushes the thumb over the cool and pale skin. "It's not your fault, okay, none of this is, you can't blame everything on yourself, Cas," he says in an attempt to be reassuring.</p><p> </p><p>Cas doesn't give any response to it except for closing his eyes for a brief moment and leaning in into the warmth of Dean's touch against his wet skin, before slowly going back to bury his head where his hands lingered. </p><p> </p><p>Castiel stops shivering, but he’s still struggling, breathing in shallow breaths. Dean keeps on saying soothing words to him, "I'm here, Cas, it's okay, I've got you," is all he can say to comfort him. After a while, Dean drops his hand from Castiel's back to his waist, and rests his cheek on Cas' head before closing his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"Shh...Cas..it's okay. I've got you," he keeps whispering, his voice growing slower and quieter with each word.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel calms down after some time, his crying stopping, but he doesn't feel like letting go. The feeling, it’s so different but it feels like home, it feels warm and comfortable with Dean holding him, Dean's arms around him. Castiel stays there, closing his eyes and holding a little more tightly than before. Normally, Cas wouldn't admit it but, right now, he never wants to let go. Dean, on the other hand, returns his sweet gesture by holding his waist tightly and pulling him closer with a sly smile on his lips.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>It’s around evening when Dean's phone buzzes with Sam calling, and waking him up from his slumber. Something tingles on the side of his cheek. He looks down and sees Cas and his messy hair. Frowning, he's not surprised to find Cas gripping his shirt and his other arm still around him. He doesn't remember falling asleep like that. Dean shifts, fishing out the cell phone from his pocket without disturbing Cas.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm busy right now. I'll call you later," Dean says in a low, hushed voice.</p><p> </p><p>"Are you with someone?" Sam says from the other end of the phone.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm in no place to talk right now, Sammy."</p><p> </p><p>"Is she hot?" Sam teases.</p><p> </p><p>"Shut up. I'll call back later."</p><p> </p><p>"But Dea-"</p><p> </p><p>Sam’s cut off when Dean hangs up the phone. He takes a look at Castiel, who is now waking up, opening and blinking his eyes. He slowly lifts his head off Dean but his hands remain at the same place they were before, one around Dean's neck with the other gripping his flannel around his chest.</p><p> </p><p>Cas' head tilts to the side, wearing strange confusion. The other man stares back, not sure what to say. Except that he finds his weird habit of tilting the head quite adorable. His hand still lingers on Castiel's waist. He glares back, eyes drawing down briefly to beautiful, soft, pink lips, which are so close. Dean's mind is lost in its own thoughts, wondering what Cas might taste like, that he totally forgets he’s staring at him openly.</p><p> </p><p>Panicking, Castiel loosens his grip on Dean, bringing his hands down to his side, snapping Dean back into reality. Dean gives up on his thoughts, letting his hands fall from his waist as Cas scoots back quickly to make room between the two.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"I-I am sorry for that," is all Cas says before getting up and leaving.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Castiel doesn't look back or even say a word when Dean calls his name, he simply goes back into his room, locking the door behind him, he leans back on it, releasing a sigh.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>In a moment Dean is at his door, knocking. "Cas, man, open up, it's me."</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"Go to your room, Dean. I don't wanna talk about it," Cas replies from the other side of the door.</p><p> </p><p>There's a silence at Dean's end. Dean understands he might need some time alone but he still doesn't trust the guy, not after what he has seen in the past couple of hours. "Just-just don't do anything stupid, okay?" he says.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>He knows Cas is still on the other side, listening to him, even when there's no response. "Promise me," he says, knocking twice.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"I promise," comes a low voice from the other side.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Story time guys. I was not having my best days when I wrote this chapter like 2 years ago so I incorporated Dean saying I have got you and all sorts of things because I wanted to hear those words so badly. And this chapter is for all those people out there who are not having their best days. I want you guys to know, I have got you.</p><p>Give me kudos guys. Its been 6 chapters already, what's taking you guys so long?<br/>I hope you guys liked this chapter. Dean is not that bad. Right?<br/>I would really appreciate if you guys will comment whether it is good or bad. I really want to know what you guys think.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Two Lunatics and Their Saviour</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dean is crazy and his friend is crazy too.<br/>Cas meets Benny.</p>
<p>(PS; I hope this helps. I don't know how to write summary.)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! Beautiful people. I hope you all are doing great. </p>
<p>So we got queerbaited again three months after the show ended but jokes on them because we are used to it.</p>
<p>Let's just agree Dean and Cas are married.</p>
<p>Enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean wakes up with a stiff neck, feeling a little colder than usual, shifting a little in his sleep. He winces. When did his bed turn into a hard rock and why the hell is it so friggin cold?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He shifts a little, trying to get himself more comfortable. <em> Wait. </em>This isn’t his bed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>His eyes fluters, blinking, he looks around. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Damn it.  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He slept through the night outside Cas' door, like a pathetic little teenage girl waiting for her prom date to show up. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sleeping outside Castiel's door was indeed a bad idea; his back hurts from sleeping against the wall, his neck is stiff and tense when he tries to move it, and his legs, well, he hopes he can at least walk around with all the numbness. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>This is still the second bad thing to happen because Castiel is not in the bedroom and the door is wide open, which means he left and he must have noticed Dean outside being creepy, waiting for him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>                                        *****</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Throughout the day, he searches around the campus for Cas, who is, apparently, avoiding him purposefully. He catches glimpses of him twice but Castiel ducks into the crowd before Dean can reach out.<em> Fucking ninja. </em> He's with Crowley on his way to the class when Castiel's topic pops up again and Dean ends up explaining his history with Cas.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It is obvious. Harry Potter hates you"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"For now."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Love story is getting more interesting." Crowley chuckles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Shut up!"</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p><p>                         *****</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Castiel is alone in the cafeteria when he spots the one man he's avoiding standing by the door. He can't avoid him for long, he knows that, somehow, he'll have to face Dean when he gets home, but he didn't expect to have an encounter with him this soon. He is also well aware Dean will question him about the freak show he had yesterday, but he hadn't given much thought about it because he had planned on figuring it on his way home. And that's not happening because Dean is walking towards him, and it's too late for him to back off or run away to buy some more time. He slumps on his chair, acting as if he never saw Dean.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Grabbing a chair, Dean greets cheerfully as always, "Hey, Cas."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel looks up at Dean, his eyes probably drilling into Castiel's, searching for some answers. He stiffens when Dean settles on the chair opposite to him, and he can only reply to him back in his gravelly voice, "Hello Dean," and tries not to catch his eye.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They sit in complete silence before Dean releases a small sigh, asking, "How are you feeling today?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Darting his eyes on the table, "I'm fine," Castiel lies.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Mind filling me up about yesterday?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> And there it is.  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So far, Dean has turned out nothing like what Castiel had assumed about him; he is nowhere close to his teenage self. In fact, he is entirely different. Although Cas finds it difficult to trust the man when his actions seem quite contrary to Castiel's belief system, he is not being a pain in the ass and looks like he genuinely cares but what if it is just a facade. Castiel thinks a little before answering him, "It—" taking in a deep breath, he closes his eyes for a second, swallowing hard. "It was nothing, Dean." He shakes his head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Don't you dare give me that crap, I'm not buying it, so spill."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel sighs, looking up at the man who is leaning on his elbows, staring right at him, eagerly waiting for an answer. Dean waits patiently and watches Castiel tug at his sleeves uncomfortably. Maybe Dean is a changed man and maybe Charlie was telling the truth when she said Dean is one of the nicest people she knows and a great friend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cas remembers that look filled with sympathy, he remembers starting into those green eyes yesterday, holding their gaze long enough to study every hidden detail in them, and, the worst part, running away from their owner, even though he knew those eyes would follow him in a false hope that he would open the damn door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had felt terrible for leaving Dean like that in the morning but it’s not his fault; Dean chose to stay there, he had asked him to leave last night. He recalls staring down at the unconscious man this morning, and he wanted nothing but to wake him up, take him to bed, maybe tuck him in and free him of the misery, but that's not what he did because there was a voice screaming in his head, <em> it’s Dean fucking Winchester, why does he even care for someone like Castiel </em>, and that was enough to make Castiel walk away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And now here he is, with no room to escape, sitting in front of the same Dean Winchester, being forced to tell him the truth. Well, after what Castiel has done to him, the only person actually trying to help him, he thinks Dean at least deserves some answers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It's, It's just nightmares," he finally admits. He doesn't feel like elaborating it more, he doesn't have any more strength left to give details without breaking, and that's the last thing he wants to do: crying in the cafeteria and getting mocked for it for the rest of his life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Are they that bad?" Dean asks, sounding concerned, reaching for Castiel's hand across the table to comfort him and let him know it's okay, Dean understands what he is going through.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel doesn't flinch at the small gesture, he lets Dean's thumb rub circles at the back of his hand. He hums in agreement. "I don't wanna talk about it, Dean, so please drop it, I've already told you what you need to know."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Am I disturbing your little date?" Crowley chimes in, grabbing one of the chairs, and Dean suddenly removes the hand resting on Castiel's, and gives Crowley a deadly glare.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What are we talking about, Meow?" he asks, looking at Castiel, whose hand rests on his lap, already missing the warmth of Dean's hand, when Charlie joins them. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Dammit, Crowley," she punches his arm playfully. "It would have totally happened, if it weren't for your unworthiness of three pigs sorry ass," Charlie scowls at Crowley.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"As per the stubbornness of Squirrel, I don't see that happening until a year or two. And my ass is worth, at least, five pigs," Crowley snaps, shoving his palm up and letting his small fingers out in Charlie's direction.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Exchanging a glance, both men look equally confused about what they are fighting about. "Wait a minute, you guys were watching us this whole time?" Dean speaks up first.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Not watching, just keeping a distant check," Charlie replies smiling.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I don't see a difference between the two," Dean says, eyeing at her. "And where the hell is Benny, I told you to bring him along," Dean grits, bringing his attention to Crowley.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You know how long it takes him to pee, I could have been to hell and back in that time," Crowley responds.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Meanwhile, Kevin, Garth and Jo join them. As per Crowley, he considers himself as a king, and sitting between the nerds is beneath his self-esteem. It's not like he hates the nerd gang, he just likes to make fun of their little quirks, which may sometimes offend them, but he gets along with this gang well, maybe because Dean is friends with them too or maybe they are fun to hang out with. They all chat until the break is over and later proceed to their respective classes.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>                                                 *****</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>Later that day, in the evening, Dean flops down on the couch next to his fellow loather, "I'll be going out with Benny today."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Does Lisa know about it?" Castiel says, turning the page of the book he is engaged in with his reading glasses on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Geez, Cas, we're just friends, gonna grab a beer or two and chill, you are welcome to join." He looks over Castiel, who is still rummaging through his book.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I don't drink." Cas shrugs off, eyes pondering the book.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Why?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Because I don't get drunk."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What? Is he kidding, everyone gets drunk, it's just part of being human. This seems fairly irrational to Dean and he can't quite understand the logic behind it, well, unless the creature he is currently talking to escaped from some other planet, which is the only explanation."Seriously?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yes," comes a dry reply from the moon-eyed creature.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Well, I'm not asking you to drink, just in case we both get wasted and we need someone to drive. You do know how to drive, don't you, Cas?" Dean asks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yes, I do, but I'm not your driver." Castiel lifts his heavy stare from the book.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the background, a common house phone rings, grabbing their attention. Courtesy of Bobby.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Out of the corner of his eyes, he watches Dean roll his eyes when Castiel gives him a purpose, "You might wanna get that, maybe it’s your buddy Benny." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Walking over the phone, Dean answers, "Hello?" </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Who the hell are you?" someone yells from the other end of the phone, surprising Dean, who doesn't recognize the voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You called here, dude, so you're gonna answer me first. Who are you?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I called my brother, he gave me this number for emergencies and he's not answering his cell, what did you do to him?" the man says from the other end of the phone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Your brother is still alive and kicking, I ain't done nothing to him, and I'm Dean by the way," snaps Dean, thinking the whole family is crazy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"And I don't care," the man retorts.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean rolls his eyes at that, but snapping back at Cas' brother is not really a nice idea at the point, because he's curious to learn about the things only someone close to him can answer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Before I let you talk to Cas, would you mind telling me about his nightmares?" he asks, keeping his voice low.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Did he have one again?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yeah, a pretty bad one."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"He has been having nightmares ever since Michael died, little bro didn't take Michael's death well." There’s a little pause before he speaks again, "Michael was our brother, pretty close to Cassie. Just be there for him when he has one, don't leave him alone, I don't trust him on that."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yeah, I won't leave him to deal with all that alone, not after what I saw yesterday,"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Who is it, Dean?" Castiel shouts from the other side of the room, watching Dean being all secretive.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Wait. Are you banging my brother? Because if you are, I am coming there to kick you in the ass if you ever try to hurt my lil’ bro or break his heart."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It's your jackass, brother," Dean shouts over the phone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Must be Gabriel. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Slow down there, dude, I'm not banging your brother, and he's not my type."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Give it to me," Castiel demands, the last thing he wants is Dean teaming up with Gabe.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Just a sec, Cas," Dean replies back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"So, you have already given him a new nickname and what do you mean not your type, is he not hot enough for you?" Gabriel gets offensive.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean takes a look at Cas, not to argue but, well, he does look damn hot with those glasses on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yeah, he is hot," Dean says, biting his inner cheek to try to keep himself from blushing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cas loses at this point, he wants to know what they’re both talking about for so long, it would be his worst nightmares come true if they both are planning to gang up against him or pull a prank on him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Then what's the problem?" Gabriel shouts, being dramatic.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Wait, do you want me to bang your brother?" narrowing his eyes, Dean asks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Give it to me," Cas says, coming from behind and reaching for Dean's hand holding the phone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Wait, I'm not finished yet" Dean flinches, taking the phone away from Cas.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Then put it on speaker," Castiel demands, resting both of his hands on his hips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Alright, alright," he puts the phone on speaker.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What do you want, Gabriel?" Cas asks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It takes you 5 years to come out of the closet and just a month into college to get yourself a boyfriend!" Gabriel shouts.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Those words pinch Castiel's ears like a thorn, making him rush forward to take the phone out of Dean's hand before more words spill out of Gabriel's mouth to prick him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Give it back, Dean, give it to me," he says, struggling to reach for the phone while Dean huffs a laugh, running to the other side of the room, trying his best to keep the phone away from Cas.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No, I wanna hear this." poking at the annoyance, Dean grins.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"He is not my boyfriend!" Castiel shouts, jumping a little to reach for the hand holding the phone above their head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Somehow, he’s able to snatch it back from Dean's hard grip, he takes the phone off from the speaker and brings it near his ear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean is biting his inner cheeks, trying so hard not to laugh, as he listens to Castiel carefully, when he speaks again. "And it wasn't 5 years, Michael knew from the beginning, we never told you because I never trusted you with it."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Whatever, now you've got only me. So, how are things going with Dean-O over there, is he hot?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel glares at Dean, eyes going from top to bottom briefly pausing somewhere down his waist, before settling on his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His glance doesn't go unnoticed, the way Castiel’s looking at him, Dean thinks he might have been asked the same question. Dean stands not too far, just a few steps away from him and the curiosity bubbles up inside him as he raises his eyebrows at Castiel, expecting an answer. Ladies dig the kind of personality Dean has. Also, he is far more handsome than anyone Castiel has been into. "I don't know," Castiel fumbles on the words. "And I don't wanna talk about it, why did you call, anyway?" he asks, glaring at Dean, who is looking right back at him, trying to hear the whole conversation, with a disappointed look on his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I called your cell phone earlier to check up on you, but you didn't answer."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm fine, there's nothing to worry about and I'll call you if something's wrong."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You better. Tell your boyfriend I will kick his ass he ever tries to hurt you"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"He is not my boyfriend," Cas says angrily, earning a quiet chuckle from Dean.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Bye, baby brother." Gabriel hangs up the phone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What did he say?" Dean asks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><br/>
"Nothing, he was just messing with me, well, he always does." Castiel answers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Quite a brother you got there, mine is a more of a nerd like you. Oh shit. I'm late." Dean says looking at the clock. "I gotta go, bye." He grabs his jacket before stumbling out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Bye," Castiel says, flopping back on the couch.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>                                        *****</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s late in the night when a familiar sound breaks the silence of the room, right when Castiel is about to wrap up his work before heading to bed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Hello." He wonders who's calling this time of the night; there might be some kind of emergency.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Hi. I'm speaking from Heaven's bar. This guy here, Dean, is pretty drunk with his friend and they are causing a lot of disturbance and breaking things. You might wanna take them," some guy says from the other end of the phone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel recalls his earlier conversation with Dean about driving, where he firmly declined him and this is how Dean’s making him drive his sorry ass back home anyway. He doesn't want to spend another hour or two dealing with a drunk idiot, but he can't leave him at the bar either. The situation must be pretty bad, otherwise, why would the bar care about two drunk guys when there is a room full of tipsy alcohol addicts?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Thank you for calling, I'll be there soon," he says, hanging up the phone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> So this is the emergency. </em> He thinks on his way to the bar. No matter how much he hates it, Cas makes an exception this one time. Dean helped him yesterday despite their differences. He could at least return the favor. Why does it have to be him, though; can't they call anyone else to pick them up? Dean has other friends too. Why would the bar call the last person on his list? Maybe everyone else bailed on him too. He can't imagine how the bartender or the owner is dealing with them right now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Reaching the bar, Cas spots the Baby easily, which is still parked. After being surrounded by a load of awfully drunk people, half passed out in a corner, some dancing around while the rest throws up, Castiel finds his heart sinking down when he doesn't find any signs of Dean. He glances around, pushing through the crowd.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean is sitting on a stool near the counter, clutching the beer in his hand while laughing with some guy, who Castiel assumes must be his friend Benny.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I can't believe it, you are still drinking" Castiel sounds angry, snatching the beer from Dean's hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Hey, you are here," Dean says, smiling.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The bartender, a poor guy named Alfie, comes over. "I stopped giving them more after they were pretty drunk, but they started throwing the glasses at me so I had no other choice."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm sorry for their behavior, I will pay for the glasses," Castiel apologises sincerely.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You must be the pretty nerd boy who lives with Dean, I'm Benny," the other man chimes in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Told ya! He's pretty," Dean responds to Benny, throwing a wink at Cas.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cas ignores the whole immature behavior, blaming it on the booze as he pays for the glasses and beer himself. He has had enough fuss for today. "How did you find my number?" he asks Alfie.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Look at the guy's arm," he replies</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel reaches for Dean's arm, tugs at his sleeves, raising his eyebrow skeptically in the process when he notices something written with a black marker; he holds the wrist of the tipsy man, reading the words out loud, <em> "This is Dean, if lost, please return to the contact below.” </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> This is ridiculous </em> , Castiel thinks, giving a <em> 'You disgust me, Dean Winchester' </em> look with his grumpy face, while the other man is busy smiling at him. There is no use of saying anything to him right now, because, with that much booze, he won't remember anything by tomorrow, and Castiel decides to save everything he wants to yell about until the next day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm taking both of you back home, let's go."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>None of them responds; they are both busy giggling about something. Castiel, on the other hand, can't take their shit anymore; he is tired as hell, and this is not how he thought this night was going to be, this wasn't supposed to happen. He wants to go home and crawl into bed, not get stuck here in a damn bar with two drunks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Get your asses up or I'm dragging you both out," he yells at them but not loud enough to get the others attention.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Both men get up with their hands still around each other’s shoulders, leaning and taking support in each other as they walk behind Castiel. They were literally checking Castiel out from behind and exchanging words, "He's a catch brother, never leave him," Benny says in Dean's ear, at which Dean snorts a laugh. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel settles on ignoring what he just heard, as he’s too tired to pay attention to their drunk chit-chat. Somehow, he manages to get the Impala keys from Dean before he stuffs both of them in the backseat. Yeah. It was a real challenge to get the keys from Dean.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The whole ride home is like hell. Even though he dismissed the permission to play the radio, he should have seen this coming because they know how to improvise. Two of them singing Zeppelin at the top of their lungs while Castiel is left alone to deal with their madness is not fair.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Shut the fuck up or I'm throwing both of you out!" Castiel hisses, giving a death glare to them from the mirror.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I like it when he talks like that," Dean says, enjoying the ride.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Brother, he will throw us out," worries Benny after receiving the threat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"He won't dare to throw me out of my own Baby," replies Dean, confidently.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Oh yes, I will, Winchester," Castiel snaps, throwing yet another glare from the rearview mirror.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"He is pissed, look, his hair is also standing in every direction, we pissed off his hair too," pointing at Cas' hair, Benny says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No, he is not pissed, his hair is always like this, I'll show you." Dean brings his hand forward to brush down the driver's hair when Cas flinches at the last moment. "Touch me and you're dead, Winchester," he grits in his deep voice, staring at Dean from the mirror.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yeah, he is pissed," Dean retreats back, accepting the defeat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After what seems to be like a ride of a lifetime, Castiel finally parks Baby in the driveway, before getting out and walking to the back door. "Come on, get out."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"He is throwing us out, chief," Benny says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm not throwing you out, we are home," Castiel says, helping Benny out, and leans him on the Impala before doing the same for Dean. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Somehow, he manages to get them inside but the real challenge in front of him is to get them upstairs. He literally has to push them from behind. Placing his hand to support their back hoping both men don't end up rolling down the staircase. "I can't do this," Dean gives up, sinking down on a step.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You have only climbed three steps," Castiel glances down at him while his hand rests on Benny's back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Leave me, take him instead, save him," Dean says dramatically.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Brother, I'm not leaving without you," Benny replies, making Castiel roll his eyes at them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cas decides to deal with Dean later, so he pushes Benny forward to keep walking. "Shut the hell up and move." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>After walking him upstairs, he forces him inside Dean's bedroom. He then returns for the trouble maker who is still lying on the stairs. "Wake up," he says, pulling Dean up by the lapel of his jacket, but he’s too drunk to stand on his own and sinks down again with his back against the wall.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That's it, this ends now, it's enough that he has driven him home after making himself clear that evening, and he can't do this anymore; he's done trying to play good with his enemy slash housemate. Things would have been way better if he had turned his selfish side on when he received that call, God knows he might have been asleep by now. Unfortunately, that's not true and here he is, slowly turning away from the unconscious man and walking upstairs cursing under his breath. He is so fucking done with Dean, his job is fucking done, it's his fucking choice to stay there, and after climbing what seems to like the last step, he turns and takes one last look at Dean, who is lying unconscious on the staircase.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His mind is battling. He can't abandon him. Not again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Screw this," he mumbles before marching back down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He crouches down next to him, whispering, "Put your arms around me." Dean seems to follow the instructions. Castiel gently sweeps him up thinking <em> What did I do to deserve this? </em> as Dean leans on his shoulder </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel carefully carries him back to his room and lays him down next to Benny, making sure he has removed their shoes, and places the covers over them before leaving.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Go to sleep," Cas commands, feeling Dean's gaze on him, as he turns the lights off before proceeding towards his room.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Guess who is dead too. You guys remember the rooftop when Cas was seeing like two people, his mother and you know who (not Voldemort guys. I am talking about Michael.)</p>
<p>Some of you wanted to murder Dean, called him a dickbag and pain in the ass in the first few chapters but look he is a nice guy too so we might have to tolerate his misbehaviour. Our boy is not perfect but he is nice. He will come around.</p>
<p>I hope you guys enjoyed it.<br/>Kudos are always appreciated.<br/>Thoughts on Dean everybody. Tell me about this one in the comments. (No pressure guys but I love it when you tell me. It gives me nice positivity for the whole week)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The Leverage</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Castiel is gonna kill Dean if he doesn't stops his non-sense and why the hell is he so drunk?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! My Darlings.<br/>It's Jensen's Birthday and I am back with a little treat. I hope he is living his best days. Happy 43rd Birthday Jensen.</p><p>(Are you guys trying that sexy silence thing on me? Because either you all are ghost readers or you all are a huge fan of Jensen long con Ackles. I hope you guys break your sexy silence when my favourite chapter comes.)</p><p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Castiel sits on a chair in Dean's room, straddling it, chin resting on his hands, which are placed on the back of the chair, calmly waiting for Dean and Benny to wake up from their drunken slumber. Cas has been sitting there for quite some time now, doing nothing but watching them buried in sleep while listening to their gentle snuffles and the sound of birds chirping outside.</p><p> </p><p>Dean lies still like a brick, the only movement on him is the gentle rise and fall of his chest, his hair is in the same condition when he is nervous—it seems like his hand and pillow have a similar effect on it; he looks peaceful in his sleep, nothing like the troublesome baby that he was yesterday. He shifts a little in his sleep, making Castiel recall his main purpose of being here; he has a lot of things saved in the back of his mind to yell about and there is no way he's letting this opportunity pass.</p><p> </p><p>Fifteen more minutes passes by like that, and the only change that's observed there in the room is Dean, who is now lying on his back with his one hand stretched out of covers, giving the impression that he ain't getting up any sooner. Castiel can't spare a single minute on the man lying in front of him, he's getting pretty late for his morning classes, and, clearly, he has more important business to attend to rather than waiting for Dean and his crazy friend to wake up. </p><p> </p><p>If he wastes any more time on yelling and making Dean apologize for his yesterday's behavior, he might end up missing his morning lecture. Finally, he gets up from his spot, grabbing the extra pillow from bed without even thinking twice about his actions.</p><p> </p><p>"Get," he smacks the pillow on Dean's face, "the," one more pillow smack, "hell," there goes another on the chest, "up," and the last one.</p><p> </p><p>Swinging his arms in the air like a drowning man, Dean startles awake growling, "Sonofabitch," followed by a, "What the hell, Cas?" He grumbles, flinching his head away from the light entering from the closed blinds; his head is throbbing with intense pain, it feels like he could pass out anytime soon, and the one sided pillow fight was just the cherry on the top.</p><p> </p><p>"It's morning and I am about to leave," Castiel answers simply.</p><p> </p><p>"Can't you leave quietly?" he questions, blinking and trying to focus his blurry vision.</p><p> </p><p>"I tried waiting for you to get up by yourself, but it was getting late," Castiel says nonchalantly.</p><p> </p><p>"You were watching me sleep," Dean interjects, sitting straight, wincing at the pain.</p><p> </p><p>"How am I supposed to wait without watching you?" Castiel frowns, looking confused.</p><p> </p><p>"You don't watch people sleep, Cas, it's creepy." His eyes wonder the bed when he realises there is someone else in there with him. "And what the hell is Benny doing in my bed? Did I— did we— Noooo," his voice trails off in terror as his head drops down to get buried in his hands.</p><p> </p><p>"Take these aspirins, my job as babysitting you is done, and, yes, you both fucked, live with it," Castiel spats, placing the bottle of aspirin on the nightstand with force.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel storms out, shutting the door behind him while Dean sits there in silence trying to remember the events of last night. He pulls the covers off him and, thank God, he has pants on. He slowly lifts it a little bit more on Benny's side hoping the same, and turns out Cas was just messing with him. What has gotten into him to act like a jerk, not that normally he's a blessing to be around, but he's more of a bitchy kind now.</p><p> </p><p>As the day proceeds, Dean gets better and he waves goodbye to Benny somewhere around in the afternoon, thanks to those aspirins, which were helpful for recovering from the hangover, and he picks up some bits of faded memories from yesterday. He tries to recall last night, of Cas driving them home, but he's still missing the most part, mainly the details. In the meantime, he goes out for grocery shopping, calling Sam on the way, and, by the time he returns, he finds Castiel sitting on the living room couch in his regular T-shirt.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, you're back, I, uh, went grocery shopping," Dean, says, entering the living room and shrugging off his jacket as he places the grocery bags on the table. "I'll be out with Lisa tonight, got myself a date night, we've decided to take things slow," he says, flopping down on the couch next Castiel, who's not at all interested in any kind of chit-chat.</p><p> </p><p>"Why are you telling me this?" Reclining forward, Castiel asks, looking at Dean through his reading glasses.</p><p> </p><p>"Small talk, man, what's going on in our lives. Your turn," Dean says, pointing at him.</p><p> </p><p>"I had to deal with two drunks yesterday, not only driving them but having to carry one of them to bed. That is what's going on in my life." Slamming the book shut, Cas says.</p><p> </p><p>"Geez. Must be Benny, doesn't sound like me at all," Dean denies, making himself comfortable on the couch.</p><p> </p><p>"Let me clear that misunderstanding: it was <em> you</em>," confirms Castiel, wearing a serious face.</p><p> </p><p>"Really? You could lift me?"</p><p> </p><p>"And that's the part you don't get? I'm a lot stronger than I look."</p><p> </p><p>Dean tries harder to remember about last night but all he gets is some faint memory of Cas sinking down near him before lifting him, he recalls looking at Cas' jawline with a blurry vision while being carried by him. He doesn't bother to argue so instead he makes his leave saying, "Alright, tiger, thanks for all that but I gotta get ready for my date."</p><p> </p><p>"And I won't be doing that again or driving you when you have drunk your ass off," Castiel replies, looking at Dean from the couch.</p><p> </p><p>"Gotcha."</p><p> </p><p>Castiel debates if he has made the right choice staying in the same place as Dean, for whatever reason he has come around to tolerate his little quirks, including their small arguments followed by sarcastic comments. For a long time, he lived alone in this place and, yes, it would get lonely sometimes, he would crash on the couch after long hours of work and, in  those days, dinner seemed off the table, he would get exhausted just by thinking about spending the next hour in the kitchen satisfying his stomach.</p><p> </p><p>After Dean's arrival, everything changed. Dean took full responsibility for the kitchen, he made sure the refrigerator stocked, he purchased the groceries, and all the stuff which Castiel never really cared about except for buying coffee. Who would have known the popular soccer player from high school can cook so well. This was the only evidence that Castiel felt a little less lonely since then. And sometimes Dean is fun and sometimes he's on his nerves like fire. But if that's what it takes to have a delicious meal everyday, he wouldn't mind the company of a rival who's a great cook.</p><p> </p><p>Later that night, a couple of hours after Dean's departure, Castiel receives a phone call.</p><p> </p><p>"Hello?"</p><p> </p><p>"There’s this same guy here pretty drunk again." Castiel had kinda recognized the voice at the other end of the phone from last night. <em> It's Alfie </em>.</p><p> </p><p>Not a moment ago he was thinking maybe Dean is nice after all. And now this. Castiel can't understand if the other man is playing some kind of prank on him or if he really enjoys troubling him. "I'm not coming this time, call anyone else," he grits through his teeth.</p><p> </p><p>"But—" Castiel hangs up the phone, cutting him off in between.</p><p> </p><p>Ignoring the call, he goes back to work. He sits there for some time, eyes on the book, index finger playing with the corner of the page, causing it to wrinkle around the edge as he reads the same sentence over and over again. His mind is not at its best, and it refuses to cooperate and process the words in front of it; maybe it's the call that distracted him, because what if something goes wrong? What if Dean gets himself in trouble? There are a lot of terrible things that could happen to him right now, he could even get injured, and all because Castiel is being selfish and ignoring a damn phone call. </p><p> </p><p>After spending a long time with his distracting thoughts, thinking about the consequences of his stupid action, Castiel decides to wrap up his work when he hears the doorbell ring followed by a bang. He wonders who it is at this time of night, but, to his relief, a serial killer wouldn't ring the doorbell, nor would a thief.</p><p> </p><p>Stumbling out of the room, he approaches the front door. Hoping to peep his head out, he opens a little crack, but he didn't expect a fully grown adult to be leaning on it, falling on him as soon as the door opens slightly.</p><p> </p><p>"Ouch," is all Cas can get out when his head hits the floor.</p><p> </p><p>"Hiya, Cas," Dean says, looking down with a smile on his face and a mix of wine and beer in his breath. </p><p> </p><p>Of course it's Dean, who else would it be? One hand is gripping Castiel by his shoulder while the other is crumpling his T-shirt and Dean is on top of him. Yet again. </p><p> </p><p>"I never signed for this," Castiel complains, lifting his head up a little to frown at Dean while clutching to his strong biceps.</p><p> </p><p>"Yet, here we are," Dean replies to which Castiel drops his head on the floor again.</p><p> </p><p>"Hate you, Winchester." He sighs, taking a head hit on the concrete floor.</p><p> </p><p>"Love you too, Cas." The corner of Dean’s lips curls up in a smile, knowing how much he annoys Castiel. His neck hurts staying in the position. "I'm gonna drop down too."</p><p> </p><p>At that moment Castiel really wishes for a serial killer. Taking a bullet in the head seems like a nice plan, it would be even more fantastic if the gun was aimed at Dean first. Castiel would make some popcorn and enjoy the show as Dean gets shot, after all, dealing with a serial killer is a much better option than being tortured by Dean's warm breath tickling around his neck.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel lies there for a moment, cursing his life choices. It feels strange though. He can't remember the last time he was this close to anyone. The cold wind entering inside mixes with the warm atmosphere of inside, and an involuntary shiver crawls down his spine, snapping him back. Maybe he has not been intimate with anyone in a long time. He isn't supposed to feel like this. <em> It's Dean. </em> "Get off me," he grunts, pushing Dean off.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel hurriedly scoots away from him, closing the rift of cold winds, his fingers clutching the doorknob a little longer before he sighs, turning around. He helps Dean up to his feet before guiding him upstairs, and, to his relief this time, he doesn't fall back like yesterday. He's not surprised to find the taller man leaning on him on the way when he guides him through the staircase, taking small steps one at a time.</p><p> </p><p>Dean's room is messy as always because of his habit of throwing things around, or, like he says, it's easier to find the stuff that way, like his half eaten bag of chips, or the towel on the bed, or dirty clothes lying on the floor, which disgusts Cas. </p><p> </p><p>They stop in the middle of the room. "Stand still," Castiel commands, working his way through Dean’s jacket.</p><p> </p><p>There's something unusual in the way Dean is looking at him. It's a way he has never seen before. "Cas," he mumbles, observing him closely.</p><p> </p><p>"What?"</p><p> </p><p>"Your eyes are so blue," he purrs like an innocent little child telling the truth.</p><p> </p><p>"I know." Cas can't help but smile at the way those words leave his mouth, thinking a sober version of Dean wouldn't say such things; not directly to his face anyway.</p><p> </p><p>He looks around. He can't let the man rot in the mess and so Castiel decides to clean the room, the job won't take longer than ten minutes. He gets started with straightening the covers; he picks up the leftover chips, yanking out Dean's bag from the laundry basket, he tosses dirty clothes in it while Dean watches him walking around the room back and forth, it kinda amazes him how fast Castiel can be.</p><p> </p><p>"Come on, your bed is ready."</p><p> </p><p>Castiel settles him on the mattress, making sure to remove his shoes before tucking him in, when the other man mutters from underneath the covers, "Stay with me."</p><p> </p><p>Cas narrows his eye at the drunk man, thinking whether he heard him right. "Dean, you are drunk." Noticing the disappointment on the drunk man's face, he adds, "Talk to me when you are sober." And he backs off, leaving Dean on his own. </p><p> </p><p>Castiel doesn't know why he’s doing this, any of this; Dean is mature enough to drink, he can probably take care of himself. Castiel hates him. Well, hate is strong word but he happens to dislike the man for whatever reason, and Dean <em> is </em> stupid and infuriating. However, there is a part of him that doesn't give a damn about Dean while there is also another part of him, a softer part, which is growing to care about him. He doesn't know why. Castiel doesn't give it much thought before going back to bed. It was stupid enough to help him but it was one time deal. At least in the way how Castiel sees it.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>                                   *****</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Another day is followed by another night in which Castiel is busy typing on his laptop when the phone rings. He has a bad feeling about it, probably because he knows what's about to come next. </p><p> </p><p>"Hello."</p><p> </p><p>"This guy here, Dean—" </p><p> </p><p>Castiel cuts her in between, thinking it's unusual for a girl to call, "Let me guess, he is drunk again," he says.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes, he is and—" she begins to continue, but Castiel interjects again. </p><p> </p><p>"I know, I'm coming," he says, hanging up. Grabbing the trench coat, he leaves the house hurriedly, locking the door behind.</p><p> </p><p>Reaching the destination, when he steps inside, he looks around the bar. There's no sign of Dean anywhere, which leads him to walk over to the bartender, who happens to be some blonde girl in her twenties.</p><p> </p><p>"Excuse me, you called for a guy named Dean," Castiel asks.</p><p> </p><p>"First, sugar, you are gonna pay for those drinks." </p><p> </p><p>"Fine." He slides a certain amount of money to her. </p><p> </p><p>She raises her eyebrow. "And also for the flirting."</p><p> </p><p>She's surely taking advantage of an innocent looking guy like Cas but, in a situation like this, he has no other choice than sliding more cash in her direction.</p><p> </p><p>"Thanks, sweetie. He’s right there." She says, pointing at the small stage on the other side of the bar. </p><p> </p><p>Castiel could have saved a couple of bucks if he had just noticed the stage. Dean’s pretty busy occupying the whole stage, performing for the tipsy audience, singing “You Give Love a Bad Name” by Bon Jovi on the top of his lungs while dancing in between. </p><p> </p><p>His voice comes out smooth and clear, quiet yet powerful. While shifting his pitch for a higher note, he spots Castiel in the middle of the crowd when he sings aloud the lyrics with added enthusiasm, "Darling! You give Love a Bad name!" pointing a finger towards Castiel and dancing along. The amount of booze he took is far more than normal, he doesn't seem to care that there are other people in the bar, cheering and enjoying his little show as he dances and swirls his ass along the music mostly to Cas.</p><p> </p><p>The bar isn't really a decent place, according to Castiel; right now, there are people making all kinds of comments on Dean, starting from his perfect voice to his perfect ass, he could hear people cheering, a group of girls in the corner giggling and making assumptions whether he's a top or a bottom, and that's when Castiel thinks, <em> Alright, that's enough </em>.</p><p> </p><p>He pushes through the crowd, making his way towards the stage, and snatches away the mic from Dean, forcing him down from the wooden stage. "You are coming with me, this ends now."</p><p> </p><p>"Don't steal my thunder, Cas, these people love me," Dean protests on hearing the people making disappointing noises when he gets interrupted between the show.</p><p> </p><p>"They love your ass," Castiel says dryly, holding the drunk man's elbow and dragging him through the crowd towards the exit gate.</p><p> </p><p>Once outside, the anger buried within Castiel from the past couple of days bubbles up, corrupting his soul. "You are insane!" slamming Dean against the wall, he sneered. Enough is enough. This wouldn't be a scenario if he hadn't had hold on for this long. He gave up everything just to pick Dean up from the damn bar and this is what he gets in return?</p><p> </p><p>Dean felt a firm grip on his collar; he didn't have a chance to react before he was whirled around and pinned to the wall. "Cas. Please!" He pleads of pain.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know what joy you find in doing this, but this has to stop, I'm not your driver, I'm not your servant, I'm not-" he stops in between noticing Dean's been smiling all the time without paying attention to any word he just said, he searches his eyes breathing in the same air. "You have the smell of alcohol all over you."</p><p> </p><p>"I taste like it too," pouts Dean, realising Cas is way too close, a smile plays along his lips when he remembers how the other man has issues with maintaining appropriate personal space.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel tilts his head in confusion, frowning and blinking blankly at the man before him, thinking, <em> What's that supposed to mean</em>, but he refrains from saying it out loud. It’s dark and cold out here, the wind blowing on the empty street, ruffling Cas' hair and giving him chills as they stand, still staring at each other. </p><p> </p><p>The continued closeness of their bodies distracts Dean when he licks his lips and Cas finds his attention drawing to the parted cupid-bow, shaped perfect lips as his focus remains fixed on the warm breath touching his face with a slight mix of alcoholic scent, helping him to forget about the noise around them that disappears slowly in the background. He breathes in soft and slow, staring at Dean in the dim street light, unaware of how close he is to brushing his lips with him. </p><p> </p><p>Looking back at the lusty green eyes, Castiel snaps back before any more distracting thoughts can flood his mind. Castiel retracts the arm pinning Dean, dropping it back to his side, he takes a step back, breathing in the fresh air and clearing his head, he shakes off the dumb idea and releases a breath he didn't knew he was holding. He hasn't let go of all of his anger but he should wait for Dean to sober up.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> It's been a long long week. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Taking over the impala and shoving its owner in the shotgun, Castiel’s drives cautiously on the dark empty street. <em> Tired with Dean's everyday shit</em>. He sighs. "How long are you gonna do this?"</p><p> </p><p>"Don't ya like hangin out with me?" </p><p> </p><p>"No, not like this, when you won't remember a damn thing the next day." </p><p> </p><p>"Isn't that a leverage?"</p><p> </p><p><em>What's that supposed to mean, again?</em> But it doesn't seem appropriate to say it out loud. Instead, he releases another sigh, thinking it's getting harder and harder for him to deal with this whole drunk Dean situation everyday; he can't leave his work just to pick him up from a darn bar and get him to bed. This gotta<em> stop. This has to stop. </em>He needs to talk to Dean when he sobers up.</p><p> </p><p>Huffing a dry laugh in between, Dean says, resting his head on the window glass, "You won't talk to me like this unless I'm drunk."</p><p> </p><p>"That is not true."</p><p> </p><p>Dean's actions are childish and immature but the intentions behind them are true. "You shut me off all the time, Cas, but you are different when I get drunk," he says evidently.</p><p> </p><p><em> Is it what it was all about? </em> Castiel swallows, his expression shifts to surprise when he spares a glance at Dean before casting it back on the road. He was feeling mildly sad for the man but he remained clueless thinking of the deliberate attempts he has made in the past few days.</p><p> </p><p>And when they arrive back, Dean finds himself leaning on his companion. They walk up to the warmly lit front porch and Castiel takes a bit more time than usual to open the door because of his tensed shoulders, which are not quite adjusting to the weight upon them.</p><p> </p><p>Dean had his eyes on him the whole time, which was freaking Castiel out. "What?" he says, stopping in the room to remove the drunk man's jacket.</p><p> </p><p>"You are beautiful," Dean says, absently reaching out to brush away Castiel's hairs from his forehead, causing him to look up abruptly with a little shade of red peeking up his cheeks. </p><p> </p><p>Dean licks his lips on that sight but remains quiet. Castiel is the one to break their eye contact first, he looks away in embarrassment and remains silent, not sure what to say.</p><p> </p><p>Finally, when he has tucked in the tipsy man, Castiel is ready to leave when something takes hold on him. "Stay with me, Cas," Dean murmurs, holding the trenchcoat around Cas' wrist.</p><p> </p><p>Dean has this strange habit; in the last couple of days Castiel has learned a lot about drunk Dean. He gets clingy when he's drunk. Nothing like a sober Dean. A sober version of him reminds him about personal space while a drunk Dean asks him to stay near him. Maybe fall asleep on the same bed.</p><p> </p><p>Tearing his hand away, Castiel sits beside him, voice low, he breathes, "I can't."</p><p> </p><p>"For once," Dean whispers, fighting his heavy eyelids to stay awake.</p><p> </p><p>Running a hand through Dean's hair, Castiel slowly brings his palm all the way down, cupping Dean’s cheek. "You know I can't," he sighs.</p><p> </p><p>"I still have my leverage," Castiel says in the end, removing himself from the spot. Up and away from the drunk man. </p><p> </p><p>"Goodnight, Dean," is the last thing he whispers before switching off the light.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>No. I do not have a thing for Deancas falling on each other. I wrote the thing and I forgot it and I didn't realised it until now. A little heads up it will happen one last time in near future. Don't judge me guys. I just have a bad memory :/</p><p>If you guys decide to break your sexy silence tell me about this chapter in the comments.<br/>If you are like a ghost reader leave me kudos if you liked it.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Make It Work</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dean finds Castiel's weakness.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I would like to begin with a big shout out to my personal cheerleader and my very first reader Gii, she helped me a lot through this fic, she invested her time to beta for this fic and listened to me whine, here is her tumblr, <a href="http://gii-heylittleangel.tumblr.com/">gii-heylittleangel</a> Go follow her guys, she is amazing.</p><p>And Destiel went canon again and I'm back. I guess there's no escape because everytime I think I'm done with the show destiel goes canon again. This one is a 5k so have fun.</p><p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Running late on the schedule due to yesterday's hangover, Dean somehow manages to catch up with the classes after lunch. He’s getting out of his last class with Crowley and Benny when he catches a glimpse of his grumpy roommate walking down the empty corridor all by himself. Breaking from the conversation Dean excuses himself waving both of them a goodbye.</p><p> </p><p>Matching the pace of his footsteps, Dean jogs over to Castiel, who's rounding up the next turn with his trenchcoat fluttering behind him. “Hiya Cas.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hello, Dean.”</p><p> </p><p>“Where ya goin?” he asks</p><p> </p><p>“Library.”</p><p> </p><p>“Jeez, not my division.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel looks like he wants to murder him when he announces, “We need to talk.”</p><p> </p><p>“About what?”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel ignores the question, searching for a place to sit farther away from others.</p><p> </p><p>Lazily following Castiel, Dean makes a frown of disgust at the thick books and the nerds eyeing him, making a mental promise to himself this will be the first and the last time he will step foot in these dungeons.</p><p> </p><p>There are only few people in here since it’s not exactly everyone's favorite place, but Castiel knows the consequences of having Dean along with him, which isn't going to be a blessing for others. </p><p> </p><p>“About what exactly, Cas?” Dean asks again, nudging his side, his normal voice coming out loud in the library's environment. </p><p> </p><p>"Keep your voice low!"</p><p> </p><p>“Okie dokie.” he chuckles.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel settles down, keeping his bag aside with some kind of book to do his research while Dean makes himself comfortable, resting his elbow on the table. “What are you doing, Dean?” Castiel lets out a sigh.</p><p> </p><p>“...What? You mean sitting here and looking pretty? Are you distracted, Cas?” he pouts, leaning in.</p><p> </p><p>“No!” Castiel protests in an instant. "You know what I mean." Dean gives a confused look, waiting for Castiel to elaborate on his part. “Getting drunk everyday,” Running a hand through his already messy hair, Castiel sighs and Dean pretend not to notice how hot he looks in those disheveled sex hair.</p><p> </p><p>“These are my peak years man, am I not allowed to live a little?”</p><p> </p><p>"If that means waving your ass in front of a whole bunch of complete strangers, then go ahead," sounding done with Dean, he presses a finger to his temple.</p><p> </p><p>"Then where am I supposed to show it off? In front of you, huh?" Dean wiggles his eyebrows, earning an eye roll from Castiel.</p><p> </p><p>"That's not what I mean to say."</p><p> </p><p>"I can do that too. No biggie." Dean winks.</p><p> </p><p>Taking in a deep breath, Castiel demands, "You have to stop this now." He narrows his eyes, his patience wearing thin.</p><p> </p><p>After last night, Castiel was really considering hanging out with Dean for a little while. Castiel has thought a lot about it since then. It doesn't have to be hours long conversations, they can start with small talk, maybe over dinner because they both do eat the whole meal in silence mostly and it would be a great time to share their likes and dislikes, plus, they could talk about what common interests they both share so they could talk around each other more often.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel doesn't have any more energy left to deal with the drunk Dean situation every day and, moreover, they are sharing a living place for quite some time now so it is merely essential to know each other more than the surface level. After all, Dean did want to hang out with Castiel and talk to him and, to be clear, Castiel can do that he is open to the idea of getting along with Dean but only if the man can act like a normal person for one tenth of a freaking second.</p><p> </p><p>"And you need to get laid," Dean speaks casually.</p><p> </p><p>"I never applied for the `Babysitting Dean Winchester Internship`," he says, putting air quotes on the last four words.</p><p> </p><p>"Yet you are one of our best candidates," Dean smirks, teasingly.</p><p> </p><p>See. This is why Castiel doesn't want to be best buddies with him or get to know Dean on a personal level. He is awful enough to know right now. <em> What does he think of himself? </em> Ladies man? Because every word that comes out of his mouth is stupid and sounds even more flirtatious with that hideous smirk, which Castiel hates so much everytime it is directed at him.</p><p> </p><p>Giving him a hard glare, Castiel continues, "I'm serious Dean, I'm not picking you up from any bar, I'm not paying for your drinks and flirting or even carrying you to bed anymore, I have more important things to do."</p><p> </p><p>Frowning, Dean asks, "You paid for my flirting?"</p><p> </p><p>"The bartender asked for it," Castiel answers with all innocence.</p><p> </p><p>"Dude, bartenders are for flirting, that's kind of their job. Don't tell me you didn't know that." </p><p> </p><p>There's a complete silence at Castiel's end as he sits, frowning and recalling the whole incident. He attempts on opening his mouth to say something but his lips close shut.</p><p> </p><p>Staring back at 'the know it all Castiel', who, for the first time, has been rendered speechless, Dean snorts a laugh, chuckling to himself and thinking Cas knows nothing about how things at a bar work</p><p> He never meant to be loud about that but he caught the attention of some students and soon he's asked to leave. He protests, asking Castiel to pitch in for help.</p><p> </p><p>In the end, Dean is thrown out by the librarian in charge because Castiel refused to recognize him, saying with a straight face, "I do not know this man."</p><p> </p><p>This is the most Castiel has enjoyed himself in weeks, watching Dean snarl while the librarian bans him from stepping a foot inside these halls as two people have to kick him out because he is giving a hard protest, earning a lot of glances from the students sitting around.</p><p> </p><p>Not after a few minutes, Castiel walks out, slinging the bag on his shoulder. Exiting the library, he finds Dean waiting outside, he looked a little annoyed by the way he was treated earlier. Dean gives Castiel a dead look.</p><p> </p><p>Watching Dean’s annoyance, Castiel's lips quirk up into a small smile and the victory smile doesn't go unnoticed because Dean folds his hand on his chest, arching his brows upwards.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> It was hilarious. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Dean’s expression gets even more irritated as Castiel catches up and the victory smile gets replaced by a genuine smile of pleasure. “They banned you!” Castiel laughs at him, enjoying.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. Not my favourite place either,” rolling his eyes, Dean grumbles.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel only laughs harder this time, thinking of Dean’s face when he was being thrown out as they proceed to walk in the empty corridor and a wave of flush spreads across Dean’s cheeks as something in his chest flutters watching the man beside him, he wanders about this new feeling, studying Castiel closely.</p><p> </p><p>Cas rarely smiles like this and Dean remains quiet the whole time, busy admiring Cas. It takes him no more than a few seconds to eventually return the smile as he watches the way Cas' eyes light up giggling, brighter than the blue sky. Cas never smiles openly like this and Dean is more than pleased to see it. </p><p> </p><p>Dean observes the scene before it becomes a memory, there is a warmth filling up his chest as he watches the corner of Cas' eye crinkle in joy, his cheeks brighten up red as his teeth peeks out when he throws his head back laughing. It's truly the kind of smile that can brighten up anyone's day. And, suddenly, he doesn't mind if Cas is making fun of him as long as he gets to enjoy the company. </p><p> </p><p>A hand comes to rub at the back of Dean's neck when he remarks, hoping it doesn't sound creepy at all, "You should smile more often." </p><p> </p><p>Wrong move, Dean. His mind slaps his thoughts when the traces of the smile fade away from Castiel's face and he pulls up the straight face back again. "It suits you," Dean adds quickly.</p><p> </p><p>In his defence. He is only being honest.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel looks away blushing, his gaze drops to the ground before he controls the red raising his cheeks and Dean smiles on his own this time, noticing the blush with a sigh of relief. </p><p> </p><p>Dean swallows the butterflies in his stomach, breaking the long stretched silence. Time for some payback when he asks about how much Castiel paid for his flirting and brings the bartender topic back on track. Now, it's his turn to chuckle and then they're replaced by a laugh as they continue to walk around the campus.</p><p> </p><p>"You can't be serious," Dean says, looking over the hood of the Impala with tears in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"Will you shut up already?" Castiel grunts, getting in the shotgun, trying to stay mad at Dean.</p><p> </p><p>"My stomach hurts, man," he manages to speak between his laughter. Castiel is annoyed, not because he has made a fool of himself but because he's disappointed by the fact that he hasn't developed any urge to punch Dean right in the jaw. Thinking deeply for the reason, he's also kinda amazed to find himself enjoying the ride.</p><p> </p><p>They don't know when they arrive home because, in between Dean's laugh and Castiel trying to give a poker face, they lose the track on time, "It's not that funny," Castiel shoots, flopping down on the couch.</p><p> </p><p>"Funny? It's fucking hilarious, man, and you wanna know why?" he bursts laughing again, flopping down next to him.</p><p> </p><p>"Why?"</p><p> </p><p>"Because she was totally flirting back."</p><p> </p><p>"At least I don't go hitting on every waitress and bartender," Castiel points out.</p><p> </p><p>"And that's the reason you don't have any girlfriend or boyfriend, whichever you prefer," Dean speaks up.</p><p> </p><p>"Or maybe it's because of my choice to stay single," bored, he turns his attention to TV in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>"Don't make it hard on yourself to find love, Cas."</p><p> </p><p>"Says the guy who falls for every girl he lays eyes on." </p><p> </p><p>A smirk evident in his voice, Dean answers, "Can't help it. I have a charming personality. People seem to get attracted towards me."</p><p> </p><p>Castiel glares at him from the corner of his eye. "I do not know what they all see in you but I can say for sure they are falling for a facade. I pity them," Castiel says the last bit in empathy.</p><p> </p><p>"What facade man? That is real me," Dean grumbles.</p><p> </p><p>"Then I pity you," Castiel replies, switching in between the channels.</p><p> </p><p>"A good sense of flirting will get you anything. Free beers; check. Extra pie; check. Parking space for free; check. And, if luck is on my side, getting good grades; check," Dean says, listing the whole bunch of things. "There is nothing, and I repeat nothing, that can escape my charm," Dean says confidently, raising his leg up to rest it at the coffee table.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, watch me, Winchester," Castiel replies, eyes still on the TV, not sparing any glance at the overconfident narcissist beside him.</p><p> </p><p>"It's on, Novak, and you can't back off," Dean declares like he's announcing a war. <em> Let's spice things up </em>, he thinks.</p><p> </p><p>Sitting silently, Dean flings out his arm in hopes of grabbing the remote but Cas jerks his hand away. "Real mature of you ,Dean," he says bluntly, keeping a straight face staring at the TV in front of him, not sparing any glances at Dean.</p><p> </p><p>"Don't patronize me, Cas," accepting the defeat, Dean retreats his arm back to his side on the armrest while his other arm rests peacefully at the back of the couch.</p><p> </p><p>They sit  like that for a moment. Low sound coming from the TV filling in the silence of the room as Dean's gaze flickers over to Castiel, who's murmuring something inaudible under his breath which Dean assumes it to be a curse dedicated just for him or that he's just complaining as usual. Today is the most he has talked to Cas. He doesn't want to spoil it so he settles on, staying quiet.</p><p> </p><p>Watching animals move around in the forest doing nothing but eat and shit on Discovery Channel makes Castiel's face light up with amusement, unlike Dean, who's feeling like torture to sit through the whole thing. Glancing sideways at the geek who's paying attention to every little detail on the screen, from the colour of the leaves of forest to the texture of the soil, makes Dean wonder if he's gone invisible while sitting right next to him. </p><p> </p><p>Dean can't sit through that animal shit any longer. Next time Dean's arm leaves the armrest it's mainly out of curiosity and boredom, also thinking to get hold of Castiel's word before he could snap back and piss him off with an appropriate comment.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel flinches away abruptly like he is about to be robbed, he looks alarmed, blinking blankly at Dean, who doesn't move any further after noticing him flinch. The terror glooming from Castiel's eyes soon melts, his expression calms down and looks a bit relieved after recognizing what Dean's intention was all about, thinking he must have misjudged him, he lets out the breath he didn't know he was holding. </p><p> </p><p>Dean, on the other hand, seems confused; he doesn't know how to respond to that, asking himself for confirmation, did he frighten Castiel? He doesn't know if he should be worried or thankful that Castiel is all zipped at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel collects himself, sitting back in relief as he focuses back on the TV in front of him. His eyebrows shoot slightly upwards, giving a look of <em> 'this is the best you can do?' </em> before he tears his eyes away from Dean.</p><p> </p><p>Looking back at Castiel in a vague manner, Dean appears lost, processing the smirk he just gave, his eyes tracks over to Castiel's face briefly before he lets out a short chuckle making a mental note to himself; <em> 'This isn't over, Novak.' </em> He prepares himself for what he's about to do next. The moment Castiel's attention is back on the TV, Dean finds himself leaning forward towards him and he continues on the effort, knowing the panic he is sending Castiel into.</p><p> </p><p>One hand still rests on the back of the couch while the other is attempting to reach out for the remote held further away from his range. Leaning in softly and slowly, being careful not to scare Castiel away anymore, he fixes his eyes on the man who's leaning back from him to maintain the distance between them. Like a warrior, Castiel is fighting till the end with determination as he stretches his arm, holding the remote further away from Dean.</p><p> </p><p>Dean fools around with almost everybody, even Cas knows that, but he wasn't expecting to be his next victim. Why is Dean staring like this? What in the hell is he doing? Why is he coming so close? Dean isn't quite registering Castiel's discomfort, he is simply pressing forward, eyeing down Cas, who's adjusting himself on the couch and letting it sink under his weight. This feeling of being trapped is astonishing, and Castiel is afraid he might end up falling back with Dean above him if he leans down more. </p><p> </p><p>His eyes wander around the room, looking everywhere but Dean. The best possible solution he can think of is to avoid meeting Dean's gaze, although a part of him knows he can't avoid it for too long. As Dean moves closer and closer with every passing second, he leans back until his support is replaced by an elbow and his head finally falls on the armrest held captive underneath Dean.</p><p> </p><p>With his mind blacking out and giving up on escaping the situation, he meets the gaze of the man leaning above him. The stare he receives is strong, intense, yet so tender. Castiel studies him, realising his expressions are neutral as before, and he feels lost as he breathed in Dean's scent, the sharp jawline blessed with little stubble on the side of his cheeks, freckles dusted across his face like stars, not to forget his hazel green eyes. Castiel finds himself thinking why he has to be so gorgeous and so close.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel's heart is racing by now, he can hear his heartbeat growing faster, ringing in his ear, and he's afraid Dean can too. He has never felt such kind vulnerability to Dean before or to anyone as a matter of fact, this feeling is strange though, it's different. Castiel lets out a small gasp, his nerves hitting adrenaline, and there's nothing he can do except for staring back at Dean, who's just above him and smells so good. </p><p> </p><p>Steadying his weight on his arm, Dean goes down slowly, taking his time, becoming aware of his breath, besides being heavy from drinking like always, for the first time his eyes are wide awake, and Castiel feels like he could look into them for eternity. Unsure of Dean's intention, Castiel shuts his eyes, feeling the slow exhale touching his face.</p><p> </p><p>Dean closes the gap, seizing the opportunity, and his forehead slightly brushes with Cas' in the process and his breath kinda tickles around Cas' ear as he lies there helplessly underneath, when Dean says in a hushed tone, "Is this your weakness?"</p><p> </p><p>Being lost in the moment, Castiel has totally forgotten what this was all about and his grip on the remote has loosened long ago, his fingers only holding it lightly when Dean takes it. Castiel flashes his eyes open, realizing what has just happened and thinking Dean was just playing with him all along, and he is still lying atop of him, giggling and hiding his face on Castiel's shoulder. "Get off me" he grunts, pushing Dean off him.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, that was easy," Dean says, collecting himself.</p><p> </p><p>Stumbling away, Castiel growls in anger, <em> "You cheated!" </em> getting as far as possible from that stupid couch and stupid Dean.</p><p> </p><p>Wearing a smug look, "Not my fault," Dean smirks, "You got distracted," he corrects him. "Perhaps the charm always works." Dean replies, throwing a wink.</p><p> </p><p>"Hate you, Winchester," Castiel barks, walking out from that place grumpily when he hears Dean call back.</p><p> </p><p>"Not for too long, Novak!"</p><p> </p><p>That comment causes Castiel to retreat back a few steps in a much faster pace. "You wanna play it that way, huh? Let's do it," standing at the doorway Castiel growls, "It's so damn on, Winchester," Castiel walks away, snarling back before exiting the room.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>                                        ****</p><p> </p><p>Castiel is deep asleep when some clattering from the kitchen brings him back to his senses. He searches for his phone, his head still buried in a pillow. There are some messages from his boss, Mr. Bartholomew, who would like to meet him tomorrow to discuss the current project he's been working on. He glances at the clock, it's almost seven pm, and he lets his head fall back on the pillow, staring aimlessly at the ceiling above; he can't believe he has fallen for one of Dean's silly tricks. Dean is stupid. His face his stupid. He can't let Dean fool him, he has to be strong. After laying there for a while, he finally assembles all his courage to head downstairs, promising himself to take back Dean, somehow, for embarrassing him.</p><p> </p><p>Entering the kitchen, he yawns, rubbing a hand down, his face meeting with a sight of Dean with a smug smile, he just knows that look. "Hey, you're up," Dean greets, a smirk lingering on his lips on seeing Castiel's sleepy face and bed hair.</p><p> </p><p>"Why are you home the night before a week off?"</p><p> </p><p>"I have my reasons."</p><p> </p><p>Castiel makes his way inside, feeling thirsty, he shuffles through cabinets looking for a glass when he speaks, "So you are out of bars to go and girls to hit," placing his hand on the platform he stands on his toes, attempting to reach for the glasses kept deep in one of the top cabinets.</p><p> </p><p>Dean can't help but smile at the way he’s trying to reach the top, his gaze settles briefly onto the gap of skin left uncovered between his tee and sweatpants when he stretches, before he decides to walk over to where Cas is still struggling. "Not exactly," he says near Cas' ear, placing a hand on his back.</p><p> </p><p><em> Shit! </em> </p><p> </p><p>Castiel's mind explodes. <em> When did he come here? </em> His body freezes with that thought, there's no way he can turn around or put a distance between the two of them. And there is no way he can take back at Dean if his body loses control like this every time. Freaking Castiel out with his low voice, Dean takes advantage of the few inches difference in their height to help him out.</p><p> </p><p><em> And what the hell is his hand doing on my back? </em>Castiel turns his head sideways to look at Dean and regrets it immediately. "Today I've got something else to hit," says Dean, handing him the glass. </p><p> </p><p>Castiel doesn't bother responding, he just wants out. Swallowing thickly, he tries making his leave without even turning around but Dean's hand goes all the way down from his back to gripping the edge of the counter, and trapping Castiel between him and the platform. </p><p> </p><p>The shorter man looks down at the hand getting in his way to escape, and he's not certain how he's supposed to get out of this. Sighing out loud after a lot of thoughts, Castiel finally decides to turn around to face his doom.</p><p> </p><p>"You know you can ask for help, Cas," Dean says, his voice is low only for Cas to hear it.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't need your help. I would have managed," Castiel says, adrenaline rushing through his veins, holding the stare.</p><p> </p><p>"Really, Cas?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, really!" Cas snarks back but Dean knows how to shut him up. He moves closer, filling the small gap, which makes Castiel look away uncomfortably. Suddenly, Castiel's legs hit the counter as he realises there's no more space to back off. And still he doesn't look up; rather his stare remains fixed somewhere around the chest of the man in front of him. The situation would remain under control if he avoids looking directly at him. That's the thing which freaks him out the most.</p><p> </p><p>There's a feeling of pride filling Dean, he feels like a conqueror after knowing the fact that being intimidated makes Castiel so uncomfortable that he can barely even look in the eye anymore when they are this close. It feels like victory.</p><p> </p><p>Panicking internally, Cas' mind is shutting off again. Oh! My! God! This isn't supposed to be happening, he can't go weak against Dean like earlier, he should not let him get inside his head. He inhales in a deep breath to calm his internal self down, managing to gather up the courage to look up once again. He looks up, placing his hand on Dean's chest to move him with a little force, making Dean's head follow his movement as he slides away from him.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm making mac and cheese for dinner," Dean calls out, while Castiel hums in response, drinking water, his forehead is almost sweating as he doesn't bother speaking anything to Dean and simply leaves the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>                                  ****</p><p> </p><p>"Dig in," Dean says, sliding a plate full of mac and cheese.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel doesn't usually appreciate Dean but he gotta admit it is really tasty. "It is delicious," he says, wiping a little sauce dripping from the corner of his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>Sitting opposite to Castiel, Dean finds it hard not to look at the lips licking the sauce away. "I know." Taking a bite of his own, Dean says, "I always made it for Sammy when we were young and Dad was away."</p><p> </p><p>This is it. Castiel must give it a shot at knowing his housemate, sure, Dean can be insufferable sometimes but, at a time of crises, he is a completely different person. Castiel doesn't allow himself to think about it but Dean comforted him once during the breakdown and patched him up after that crazy fight with Alastair. Aside from what Dean allows to portrait himself as, which is mostly the man who doesn't give a crap, a funny man with a charming personality, which probably everyone digs, and a guy with the vintage car who loves rock music, Castiel knows there is more to Dean than this, which he usually doesn't shows a lot but Castiel has caught a glimpse of it a few times during the vicious events.</p><p> </p><p>"You really love your brother," Castiel says.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, I do. He is all I got."</p><p> </p><p>"And your parents?"</p><p> </p><p>"After mom, dad was quite miserable, man, we all were." He sighs, playing with a spoon. "He couldn't look at us after the incident," even after so many years, Dean still finds it hard to talk about the day he lost his mother, his childhood, his apple pie life. "He was always on his business trips and, before joining college, we had a fight and I left, haven't spoken with him ever since."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry about it," Cas says, giving his sincere condolences. He feels bad about it, maybe because he can relate to the feeling of being abandoned and having an absent father. Luckily, he had Michael who was always there for him.</p><p> </p><p>"Don't be, I've still got Bobby. He's friends with my Dad, he's like family. When Dad was not around, he was always there for us, he even gave me the job," Dean replies, taking a mouthful bite. "What?" Dean says chewing, earning a disgusted look from Castiel.</p><p> </p><p>His brows come together, eyeing Dean. "Food is not going to run away. At least have some manners." Castiel tries teaching him some etiquette, which is really a poor choice right now.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes, cause your mom must be so proud of you being the ideal kid," Dean snaps gulping down.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't remember my mother, she passed away after I was born," comes a slow reply from Castiel.</p><p> </p><p>"I-I'm sorry Cas, I didn't know that," Dean feels guilty for crossing the line there, he knows what it's like to grow up without having a mother around. "And your dad?" Dean questions, seeming curious, quite amazed actually, because dinner talks don't normally happen between them.</p><p> </p><p>"He runs a law firm," Castiel answers.</p><p> </p><p>"So your family's rich."</p><p> </p><p>"Not exactly rich but I would say religious."</p><p> </p><p>"That explains the weird names. Castiel, Gabe—Gabriel was it?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yes, my mother was into naming all of us after angels."</p><p> </p><p>"Wait. There are more?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yes. There is Gabriel, you know him, and Lucifer, he left our family when I was sixteen, and there is Balthazar, our cousin, and then the oldest among us is Michae–" Castiel stops in between realising what he was about to say as his mind trails to in a bad memory.</p><p> </p><p>An uneasy silence sets in the atmosphere for a few minutes. Castiel's family is equally screwed up. Man, Dean feels bad for acting like a jerk to Castiel at first. The guy already had it pretty rough and whatever is going on with Michael is pretty intense.</p><p> </p><p>"Are you liking college?" Castiel asks out of nowhere, changing the topic.</p><p> </p><p>Acknowledging the discomfort Dean has laid upon Cas by asking about his siblings, Dean makes a mental note to never bring that kind of topic again. Dean replies, "Nothing like I planned but it's good. What about you?"</p><p> </p><p>"I have managed to keep up my grades with the job, I will say it's going great."</p><p> </p><p>"Good for you, Cas."</p><p> </p><p>To be honest, Dean can't believe Castiel is genuinely talking to him and finally showing some interest in his life for the first time. It's not like Dean expected Castiel to tell him about what his family is like but this is nice. They sit there for some more time, talking about college, making snappy jokes about each other when Castiel tells him how troubling it was to handle a drunk Dean and Dean can't help but laugh about it before giving a sincere apology; It would never happen again, at which Castiel smiled. Although Castiel doesn't reveal anything about the other man's clingy behaviour and the weird things Dean said to him. He would like to keep that memory for himself.</p><p> </p><p>Today is the most they have ever talked and Dean might be thinking to cook mac and cheese everyday because Cas seems to like it and he would do anything to have more conversations like this and know him more. It's nice to talk with the guy without fighting, "Lisa is gonna swing by after, today. Is that ok with you?"</p><p> </p><p>"As long as you plan on keeping it low." Castiel says.</p><p> </p><p>"We will try. And what's your plan?" Dean replies.</p><p> </p><p>"About what?" </p><p> </p><p>"About finding love, to kiss someone on new year."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm better off alone," Castiel says, trying to shrug off the topic. Love doesn't work out for him.</p><p> </p><p>"No, you are not. You'll understand when you will find someone worth holding on to. Like I found Lisa," Dean remarks. It's too chick-flick of Dean to admit it but if that's what it takes to make Cas open up.</p><p> </p><p>"It's been just a couple of weeks and you are already in love?" Castiel questions.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, I guess I am. Can't help it."</p><p> </p><p>"You fall for every waitress and bartender, Dean" pointing out the fact, Castiel takes another bite.</p><p> </p><p>"No!" Dean protests, earning an eye roll from Castiel, "But I'm gonna find someone for you, so you are not all by yourself this year," Dean smiles, taking it as his responsibility to be the wingman for Cas.</p><p> </p><p>"Why are you being so generous?" It concerns Castiel.</p><p> </p><p>"Because a guy like you, Cas, should not stay single, go out there, explore the wonders of the world, get laid, kiss someone when the clock hits twelve," Dean states, educating Castiel.</p><p> </p><p>"What if I don't find anyone?"</p><p> </p><p>"In that case, I'm always here," Dean says, throwing a wink at Castiel.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel nearly chokes on Dean's answer. It was all working, Castiel was feeling better about Dean but he just had to go there and ruin everything. Guess old habits die hard.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm not kissing you, Dean, and I'm not kissing anyone you bring, so let it go."</p><p> </p><p>"Am I not hot enough for you, Cas?" Dean pouts, licking his lips.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm not answering that," Castiel tries to drop the subject when the doorbell rings, snapping them both out of conversation.</p><p> </p><p>"Must be Lisa, I will get that," Dean excuses himself walking over to the front door, he welcomes Lisa inside. He returns back to get the kitchen cleaned but Cas insists him to carry on with his plans with Lisa as he already did enough making the dinner, it's the least Castiel could do to clean up the dirty dishes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If anyone is curious I have a few words of wisdom. We do explore the nature of destiel in act two.</p><p>I hope you all liked this one.<br/>Kudos are appreciated.<br/>If you have something to say about this chapter you know where to tell me :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Playing Along</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dean playfully calls Castiel sunshine and Castiel takes it seriously.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Still Beautiful, Still Dean Winchester. Come cry with me hellers. Also, today is Sam and Eileen's wedding and I'm back with another treat for you guys. I like this chapter and I hope you guys like it too. You can tell me or save your sexy silence for next one because it is one of my favourite.</p><p>And I have added names to the chapters. You guys can check it out. I have lot of things to say today. I should log off it's evening over here.</p><p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"CAS! I'm back." Dean shouts, kicking the door shut behind him. </p><p> </p><p>A few weeks have passed by and lately things are going pretty great in Dean's life. He is settling into the new life actually quite well. What's there not to enjoy? College is great, his friends are fun, Lisa is awesome. It feels good today, his stomach is full, he has never had any breakfast date before, hell, he didn't know such kinds of things existed but Lisa is into these kinds of things and he can't say no to her.</p><p> </p><p>Things are going better than he expected and, as per of his housemate, Castiel, well, they both have been initiating new customs to get more comfortable; they have movie nights on weekends, sometimes when they get bored they'll have a video game battle and whoever loses is in charge of doing the dishes, the deal is fair and square because it's Dean who wins more. Castiel accepted his defeat the first few times, before he found out Dean uses some kind of trick to win the stupid game and that's how Dean ends up getting a silent treatment from Castiel most of the nights, which will usually disappear by the next morning but he will nearly do everything to get Castiel's attention for the time being, like doing his victory dance in front of him while Castiel do the dishes or imitating Castiel's gravelly voice, sometimes he would shove Cas in the arm playfully to get that grumpy look. Overall, it has been nice with Castiel and Dean hopes to continue it the same way.</p><p> </p><p>It's a long drive after dropping Lisa back at her place. The air is sweet and he's in no hurry, there's enough time to enjoy the early morning drive, which makes his mood just more cheerful. And yelling, "Sunshine, I'm home," as he shuts the door behind feels like he's portraying a loving husband in a 70s movie, who has returned home to his beautiful wife after long hours of hard work. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>He walks in, nodding his head along the lyrics, humming Led Zeppelin while tip-toeing around when someone calls out with the same energy, "Welcome Back, Honey!"</p><p> </p><p>Choking on air on hearing the clamouring response, <em>'fuckwasthat!'</em> Dean almost sprains his leg, losing balance when Cas shouts back. </p><p> </p><p>Well, that escalated quickly.</p><p> </p><p>It's not like he has expected any answer in return, but his gorgeous wife has just welcomed him back and it would be rude to not pay a visit to that beautiful face. His initial plans on going to his room go aflame when his legs turn around on that particular comment, gasping in shock and following the traces of the voice.</p><p> </p><p>Now, that's a rare sight, he thinks. Cas cooking without burning down the entire kitchen, he works quite impressively, though, no one would believe this is the same person who burned the microwave and his hands in a poor attempt of making garlic bread, not only a few days ago. He moves around, flipping the toast like a pro as Dean stands there, sulking the image before he catches Cas' attention. Dean swallows hard, giving Cas a strained smile. "We made a pact about you not cooking. Remember?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yes. But you weren't home and I was hungry," comes a sour reply from Cas. His brain is not in a very good place right now. He's not caffeinated enough to talk his right mind, except for answering whatever pops in his mind first.</p><p> </p><p>Early morning grumpy Castiel mode is on its peak. And seeing the annoyance getting to Cas easily, causing his nose to crinkle Dean decides to let go of it this one time. "What's for breakfast, baby?" Dean asks, changing the subject while leaning on the doorframe of the kitchen with his arms crossed on chest, trying his best to sound genuinely interesting.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel wrinkles his face at him, rolling his eyes,</p><p>"French toast, darling," he replies, keeping his tone even, his focus fairly on the toast he's working on, not sparing any glance to look how pathetic they both sound.</p><p> </p><p><em> Using pet names? </em> That's a whole new territory. Even with Lisa, that's not something he'll ever agree to. And this, with Cas, it's hilarious, because, for starters, Cas is the last person to show any affection towards him. And he's here, calling Dean pet names. "You know how much I love your cooking. Angel. Especially the sizzler bread-toast," Dean says, holding back a laugh, indicating the last time Cas went cooking all by himself. It sounds damn funny saying out loud. The smirk that escapes his lips soon turns into a serious face when Castiel glares at him. </p><p> </p><p>This man is so unbearable. And mean. He thinks, narrowing eyes in disgust. Except for thanking him for making breakfast, Dean is making fun of him, as always. "Your love is beyond my wisdom, sweetheart," Cas plasters a smile, his voice dripping with sarcasm, swallowing down the hate, on the verge of burning the kitchen with his anger, he replies, playing along. <em> This is so stupid. </em></p><p> </p><p><em> Oh! </em> If looks could kill. Dean knows he's got on Cas' nerves on making the toast comment, but he's managing quite well to not throw a toast right at Dean's face. It's Castiel freaking Novak, who is he kidding, he could do anything to make Dean go away and leave him at his peace. But the chatting part is just getting more fun. And if Castiel is not quitting, then Dean is not giving up either. He hesitates at first, looking at Cas' profile, savouring the image before he shuffles on his feet, he follows, crowding behind Cas, leaving a little gap in between them. He stares at Cas being engrossed, eyes lingering on the curve of his neck.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel can practically feel every place that Dean's gaze lands over him, he doesn't need to look up to know that the crazy man is about to do something. And then he moves closer, slipping his hand around Castiel's waist, like it's nothing but completely normal. This is one of those moments when thoughts of Dean overpower his mind, his breath twitches from the essence of Dean's presence behind him.</p><p> </p><p>This is just a regular play for Dean, which he pulls up to score girls and it always works out. Dean's fingers curling around his waist, the rhythm of his steady breath are enough to make Cas' mind grow hazy. There's nothing he can do right now. Cas can't seem to figure out what the hell is wrong with him and it happens every time Dean comes this close. Dean is no saint, sure he will broadcast the whole thing in front of their friends if Cas goes weak against him again. And so he does what he's been doing for so long, he ignores Dean. Maybe he will go away after not receiving any attention.</p><p> </p><p>Dean's little experiment is failing. Disappointment hits differently when Cas ignores him the way he ignores speed limit, he's supposed to push him away or at least put up a fight, instead, he's still standing there, no words spoken, just busy perfecting the goddamn toast, not paying attention to him at all. </p><p> </p><p>He has grown very fond of intimidating Cas, it's fun watching him go clueless and awkward. How far can he ignore, Dean wonders as he moves in front, pressing his body closer against Cas' back and Castiel moves with him without being fully aware of his desperate need to get away from the warmth of Dean's body.</p><p> </p><p>"Cas?" He asks, voice low, lips close to Cas' ear, his forehead lightly brushing the side of Cas' head. Castiel doesn't move at all, apart from holding his breath when Dean calls his name and releasing it real quick, which would go unnoticed if Dean wasn't this close. Still, he avoids looking, no eye contact, nothing. Sighing on his defeat, Dean drops his head, hooking his chin on Cas' shoulder as he watches the long slender fingers work. </p><p> </p><p>Internally, Cas is trying to calm the fuck down, adjusting to the weight on his right shoulder, while Dean eyes him the same freaking look all over again. It's like a part of his brain is fighting to not look back, or he'll be doomed.</p><p> </p><p><em> Stop it. Please. Go away. I can't deal with this. It's too much to handle. Just go, </em> He thinks over and over. </p><p> </p><p>The time to hoist the white flag has long passed, that ship sailed long ago, leaving behind his last two brain cells stuck with an insane man. It's fine, He reminds himself. Everything is alright. He's fine, he thinks. It's alright. He's got this. There's nothing wrong with Dean's hand around his waist. <em> He's okay. </em> With Dean's chin resting on his shoulder. He tries focusing away, looking down at his hands.</p><p> </p><p>Knowing for certain Cas is trying to avoid him, "Look at me," Dean whispers again in his ear, sending an involuntary shiver down his body. "Cas?" It's the last thing Castiel wants to hear, the faint dizziness finds its way back to him, causing Castiel to shut his eyes, slowly, humming low in response, hoping Dean will stop calling his name like that.</p><p> </p><p>"Look at me," he mumbles, contradicting Cas' thoughts of having everything under control.</p><p> </p><p>"I-can't," Cas croaks out in a small sigh, voice tight. That's what this is all about, isn't it? To realize the hold Dean has over him. He's done. He can't do this. Not anymore. His knuckle goes white, holding the knife hard enough due to tension building between them. And the worst part, he can literally feel Dean breathing the whole time, Dean's breath causing tickling sensations on his neck, but he's more afraid of the warm breath growing closer until something soft touches his cheek. There's a pause after that. </p><p> </p><p>A pause of… <em> Permission? Realization? Regret? </em>Before the same happens to his jaw. It takes a moment for Castiel to register: it's Dean, kissing him. He should say something. He should stop Dean, his jaw clenches, seeming tense, but the words never make it to his tongue because Dean doesn't stop there, he goes down, tracing his neck.  "Dee-an," Cas whispers.</p><p> </p><p>"Shh-shh," Dean shushes him with another kiss. His lips lingering longer on Cas' skin when he says, "It's okay, baby," kissing him again gently, the softness coating his voice is enough to make Castiel bite down any other word that would put a wall between them. </p><p> </p><p>The knife falls from Cas' hand, resonating a clattering sound in the silence of the place as he tries to hold back his urge to push himself against Dean when he sucks on a sensitive spot. Cas makes a small noise of surprise, a gasp, biting his lips, "Mmm," a small moan escapes Castiel's lips. He shouldn't desire this. <em> This is wrong. </em> They have already pushed the boundaries enough. They are crossing the line. He knows, yet he still stands there, tilting his head, giving Dean more access to his neck, finding it hard to protest, losing himself completely to this feeling, he relaxes his tensed shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>He needs to do something before this pleasure forces him to do something stupid, like pressing his lips against Dean's, running a hand through his hair. <em> NO! </em> His mind battles to repress those loud thoughts which will haunt him for the rest of his life. Fluttering his eyes open, he tries to pull himself out of Dean's grasp.</p><p> </p><p>Looking at Castiel and his honest, blue eyes, full of unspoken longing, Dean stares at him, not showing any sign of backing off, Dean tightens his grip, stopping Castiel from getting out. They stand there. No words spoken, stillness filling the atmosphere, with Dean's hand on Cas' waist, when his gaze flickers down to Cas' lips briefly and Castiel isn't surprised by what Dean does next.</p><p> </p><p>Dean licks his lips and Cas stiffens under his grips, his face going blank, trying to hide his emotions. Dean doesn't know, doesn't care, the way he licks his lips sends heat burning under Cas' skin.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel wants to excuse himself, say something at least, but his mind isn't cooperating with Dean's odd stare. <em> Please don't. </em>He wants to scream at Dean, who's coming closer, but his throat is suddenly drier than usual, the words get stuck as Castiel looks away just in time for Dean to end up nuzzling against his cheek. He brushes his lips back to a spot behind Cas' ear, kissing there, sucking hard on the spot. Losing control, his head falls back on Dean's shoulder, his eyes shut tightly, lips sealed to stop from making noise.</p><p> </p><p>"Dean," releasing the breath he was holding, Cas moans when Dean uses his teeth, scraping lightly over the skin of his neck. It's taking all of his willpower to resist the urge of grinding his body against Dean's.</p><p> </p><p>After hearing his name in a moan. Dean is quite satisfied. Finding Cas' weak spot blossoms his heart full of joy. He pulls away slowly, leaving the spot red and wet, while taking a moment to admire Cas, who resisted him so much but is now leaning on him, eyes shut and panting through parted lips, making him think Cas may not show but he craves affection so much, just like anyone else. </p><p> </p><p><em> Well, who doesn't like affectionate touches? </em> he thinks. Everyone needs to burn off steam at some point. That's why people hook up, isn’t it? "Like that Cas?" he teases in his ear. The feeling, which has swallowed Castiel whole, slows everything down into a distorted bliss, everything around him is a blur that swirls into existence at this moment. </p><p> </p><p>Dean grins at the man leaning on him as Castiel stands frozen, embarrassed and flustered before he collects himself, casting his gaze to the side only to find Dean grinning wide at him. In an instinct, Cas' face goes pale, his blood runs cold, every part of him goes on pause as his mind catches up, falling into the abyss of reality. It hits him. He has fallen for another one of Dean's stupid pranks. His expression is one of shock and horror, it feels like he'll suffocate in himself. </p><p> </p><p><em> This wasn't supposed to happen! </em> His body twirls around, pushing Dean away forcefully so he goes stumbling backwards. He wants to scream through the tightness building in his throat. "Stay away from me," he warns through the anger raging as he tries to resist the break in his voice. No one gave Dean permission to play with his feelings like this.  </p><p> </p><p>Failing in the attempt of keeping his voice even, he feels the need to get out of here before he breaks even more when tears start burning at the back of his eyes. "Cas—" Dean begins, coming close, raising his hand to place it on Cas' shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>"Don't–" Castiel grits, flinching away abruptly from Dean.</p><p> </p><p>He needs to get out of here, he can't stand the presence of Dean right now, and, before Dean can say anything more, Castiel rushes out with hurt in his eyes and a rage in his heart, not caring about Dean calling his name, he barges out the front door.</p><p> </p><p><em> How could he be so careless? </em> After knowing everything, how could he allow himself to be fooled yet again. Isn't that what Dean has always wanted, to make him so vulnerable that he won't even fight back? Castiel doesn't know where he is going but one thing he knows for sure is he wants to get away as far as he can from this place, away from the house, from Dean, from everything. He walks and walks as fast as he can until he is out of breath, dragging his feet along the sidewalk, going wherever the path takes him until his eyes are heavy, hands tired of wiping the tears slipping down his cheeks.</p><p> </p><p>                                    * * * *</p><p> </p><p>The tremor on Castiel's face was enough to read the hurt he has caused. Dean tries running after him, calling his name, but Cas doesn't answer. "I'm sorry," he breathes as the door shuts in front of him, leaving him alone in the house.</p><p> </p><p>Several hours pass by in a blink of an eye. Still there's no sign of Castiel. <em> What time is it? </em> A quarter past seven. Dean is becoming restless, lingering inside is doing no good so far. He tried calling his cell but it went straight to voicemail. He shouldn't have pushed it, he curses himself for acting the way he did. It's cold out there and Cas' doesn't have anything warm, he left in that thin T-shirt. He hates himself right now.  </p><p> </p><p>He dials the next possible person close to Cas. "Not with Kevin or Garth either," Charlie informs from the other end of the phone.</p><p> </p><p>"Dammit!" Dean curses.</p><p> </p><p>"If it helps, I'll check out the campus library too. Let me know if you find him."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, thanks, Charlie. Text me if he's there."</p><p> </p><p>"Sure," with that, Dean hangs up the phone.</p><p> </p><p>This wait is eating him from inside, he was hoping Castiel would return after he cleared his head out but, as the sun goes down and darkness spreads across the city, his worries take a toll over his thoughts. He has to do something. After receiving a text from Charlie giving nada for all possible locations Cas might be, he leaves the house quickly in search of him, assuring Charlie it's not a big deal when she insists on tagging along, he convinces her about Castiel being temporarily upset but not revealing any further details.</p><p> </p><p>He drives to the nearest parks, the public library but Castiel is nowhere to be found. At last, he drops all his hopes and thinks about the last place he expects Castiel to go. He drives to the bar, thinking about ways to face Cas once he finds him and to apologize, with the hardest part being looking into the broken watery eyes from the morning. His thoughts drift back to the consequences of his behaviour, while he hopes Castiel is alright.</p><p> </p><p>Entering the bar, he goes straight to the bartender, describing Castiel's appearance, "Like yay high, blue eyes, sensible shoes, messy hair."</p><p> </p><p>The bartender, Alfie, is quite familiar with him as he had called Castiel before when Dean was drunk. "Yeah, I know the guy, always helps your drunk ass out of perdition."</p><p> </p><p>"Enough with the chit chat, have you seen him or not?" Dean sounds angry.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes. He left with Ketch like two hour ago," Alfie informs.</p><p> </p><p>"Who?" Dean asks, seemingly concerned for Cas. The guy is a complete stranger, next thing he knows he's using Cas, engaging him in drug activities or to fulfil his desires. Wait. He's just overthinking it. It's completely normal.</p><p> </p><p>"Works in the day shift. They kinda know each other, as far as I know, it's not their first time," Alfie replies.</p><p> </p><p>"What?" It's hard to believe for Dean, because he always sees Castiel sticking his nose in books, away from the hookup world.</p><p> </p><p>"Not like it's any of my business but, according to Ketch, their hookups are only occasional," Alfie informs and, with that, Dean takes a seat, grabbing a stool next to him, fishing out his phone out to text Charlie about the whole Arthur Ketch thing.</p><p> </p><p>"Want me to fix you up with a Drink?" Alfie asks.</p><p> </p><p>"Hit me."</p><p> </p><p>Dean is down two drinks when Charlie texts back confirming the Ketch story. "So what's your story? You in love with the pretty face?" Alfie asks, refilling the glass.</p><p> </p><p>"Nope. Just friends," swallowing down another round, he answers.</p><p> </p><p>"Or denial phase," Alfie contemplates.</p><p> </p><p>"Shut it. And fill me up."</p><p> </p><p>Pouring the drink, he says, "I saw you, dude, the other day, you were pretty drunk and the way you were looking at him, man, believe me, there was something."</p><p> </p><p>"Who are you? A cupid?" Dean retorts. "I already have a girlfriend and I am very happy with her." Taking down his last drink, Dean says, "You just lost a generous tip for putting your nose into my business," and he storms out of the bar.</p><p> </p><p>He curses under his breath before putting Baby into drive. He feels like a total fool for worrying about Cas all day long when he was busy hooking up with some bartender. He could have at least called, if not him then maybe any of his other friends. Dean was worried sick about him getting his ass in trouble. Perhaps that's what he gets for upsetting the nerd.</p><p> </p><p>It's been a long day and he really needs his sleep. Maybe try out a toast or two that Castiel made this morning to calm his growling stomach. He really hopes Cas is alright. It's been a long day for him, too, and he still doesn't know if he has eaten anything at all. Jeez, he really screwed up this time.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Listen up guys! Ghost readers in the back I hope I'm audible. I'm happy to announce that our relationship is gonna be around 20 chapters long and Girlfriend you and I are gonna have some fun.<br/>I know your deepest darkest secret. You all read so many fics. If you guys forgot or got it mixed up, we have established in first few chapters that Cas can defend himself. This info will come in handy in next chapter and heads up there's more so buckle up.</p><p>Here is my <a href="http://destiel-pirate-in-middleearth.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a> </p><p>Leave me kudos or tell me about it or save your sexy silence for next one</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Why Are You So Full Of Rage?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Guys, do sit down for this one because I don't know how you all will take it.<br/>I'm not telling anything because spoilers. And find somewhere quiet and read the chapter all at once without any interruption. (By the end of it I hope you say, Hot Damn.)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is your Captain speaking, there's a storm approaching in the distance and I want all hands on deck. I repeat all hands on deck. Hoist the colours. The wind is not in our favour. Hang tight sailors and fellow pirates. Ship is about to go down and sugar we are going down swinging. I'll see you on the other side. Do not abandon the SHIP!!</p><p>If you all forgot, CAS CAN DEFEND HIMSELF, keep this in mind while reading (I'll put things like this in notes, okay.) This is the one I was talking about, please do tell me about it, I've put a lot of work here.</p><p>Enjoy!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Monday morning. Dean is walking alone down the corridor, mind buried in thoughts. Since the beginning of the semester, he has only shown up in three, maybe four of his literature classes. He still doesn't know why he opted for English for his minor, maybe because Sammy was always on his ass and, with getting his ass into the whole engineering thing, he couldn't have cared any less about selecting a suitable minor.</p><p> </p><p>He has already tried making peace with reading and literature but the class is filled with nerds like Cas and their professor, Miss Beverly, isn't quite a blessing. There's always the option to ditch the class with a coin flip but, today, his mind is thinking of giving it another shot because, somehow, he has to keep up with the attendance and he haven't seen Castiel since yesterday and there might be some chances of finding Cas in that purgatory, so it's a win-win situation for him, and how hard could it be to sit through one hour listening to a hot professor lecturing in British accent.</p><p> </p><p>Entering, Dean scans the classroom full of surprised expressions, giving him a weird look of<em> 'sorry but you don't belong here,' </em> when he finds a familiar face, sinking down in the seat, trying to avoid being spotted.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, well, well, look who finally decided to show up," Ms. Beverly says, pulling up her English accent, interrupting his search.</p><p> </p><p>"What brings you here, Mr. Winchester?" she asks.</p><p> </p><p>"I have an attendance to keep up with," Dean answers nonchalantly.</p><p> </p><p>"Very well then, you may take your seat."</p><p> </p><p>Dean proceeds to sit beside Cas, who is settled somewhere in the middle. "Found you, Cas," Dean says, settling down next to him.</p><p> </p><p>"I wasn't hiding," Cas says, sitting upright.</p><p> </p><p>"Sure thing, you weren't, but the great eye is ever watchful," lighting up the mood before asking for forgiveness always works in his experience.</p><p> </p><p>Meanwhile, Ms. Beverly excuses herself to bring back some notes and books, and Dean turns halfway in his seat to face Castiel, “Listen, about yesterday–”</p><p> </p><p>“If you are here to talk about what you did then I am not interested. You can leave,” Castiel makes himself clear.</p><p> </p><p>“Please, just-just let me explain.”</p><p> </p><p>“I do not want to talk to you about anything. Why are you not getting that,” Castiel snaps.</p><p> </p><p>Dean settles back quietly, noticing the slight hint of anger in Castiel’s voice. He’s thinking about another way to talk to Cas when someone on the other side of Castiel asks, “Are you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p> </p><p>“Aren’t you gonna introduce me to your friend,” Dean says, changing the topic.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel turns his attention towards Dean saying, "What do you want, Dean?" he asks, looking annoyed.</p><p> </p><p><em> Play it cool, Dean, start with small talk before bringing up the matter,</em> because the last thing he wants is Cas going public about the whole thing, and it will be far more insulting in a room full of nerds. </p><p> </p><p>"What do I want, seriously? You are the one hiding the secret boyfriend here," Dean complains, "You could at least allow me to meet your friends," he says, getting a little defensive, and soon regrets it. <em> Shit! </em> Wrong topic. Dean's mind is screaming <em> abort, abort </em> as it goes into emergency mode. Shouldn't have gone there. What was he even thinking? As a matter of fact, he wasn't thinking at all when he uttered out the first thing that popped in his mind in the haste of talking to Cas. Slapping his thoughts, he scolds himself; <em> this is not how playing cool works</em>. Damn it.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't have a boyfriend."</p><p> </p><p><em> What the damn hell? </em> Is he kidding?</p><p> </p><p>Does Cas not trust him to let him know, because that's what Dean is concluding from the statement. Castiel is not Batman or anything, his secret is not gonna ruin his life if it's out in the open; Castiel doesn't have to deny it right at Dean's face. Or maybe he is embarrassed of letting him know. Whatever it is, Dean doesn't take it well because they are supposed to be friends who tell each other everything, Dean has laid his cards out in the open long before and Castiel knows pretty much everything about Dean but, unfortunately, the favour is not returned.</p><p> </p><p>"What about Arthur Ketch, huh?" Dean asks curiously.</p><p> </p><p>"How do you—"</p><p> </p><p>"I have my sources. So Ketch-" Dean begins again only to get cut off in between.</p><p> </p><p>"YES!" replies a deep voice from Cas' left.</p><p> </p><p>"Wait. You’re Ketch?" Dean leans out on the seat, taking a look at the guy because Cas in between is blocking his vision.</p><p> </p><p>"Wait, this is the Ketch you have been with?" Dean seems confused at this point, because the guy seems like he just popped out today out of nowhere.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes, indeed," Ketch replies instead of Castiel.</p><p> </p><p>"Never saw him around here before," Dean says, telling the truth.</p><p> </p><p>"That's because you never come here," Castiel contemplates.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm not that difficult to be found, I'm always around Castiel," Arthur interrupts in between.</p><p> </p><p>"Seriously, man, what the hell. And what's up with the accent?" It's been only a few minutes and he has already interrupted Dean twice.</p><p> </p><p>"He is from England."</p><p> </p><p>"Come on, Cas, you can do better than this," Dean gives a half hearted smile, feeling bad for Cas already.</p><p> </p><p>"Excuse me," says the British accent.</p><p> </p><p>"Ketch is a nice guy, Dean," Cas says, meanwhile, Ms. Beverly resumes the class, gaining their attention. </p><p> </p><p>Ten minutes into the class and Dean's eyes are already falling shut. He yawns, stretching his legs while Castiel is busy taking notes at the moment, following Ms. Beverly's every word and Dean shouldn't be bothered by Cas not minding the hand that’s resting on his knee, which belongs to Ketch. The guy didn't even exist until yesterday and now he has gone whole boyfriend mode, touching Cas without his permission. They are in the middle of the classroom, for God’s sake, can't he keep his hand to himself? Wait. What’s that noise? Dean's breath nearly gets caught in his throat, he's certain he isn't dreaming of Cas whimpering in silence.</p><p> </p><p><em> Should have skipped the class, </em> he thinks at witnessing Mr. Accent clutching Cas' thigh with his filthy hands. Why isn't Cas freaking saying anything? He can only hope the class ends soon.</p><p> </p><p>"Does seem nice to me now," leaning to Cas' side, Dean mumbles.</p><p> </p><p>Cas is silent when Dean speaks again, "He isn't the right guy for you, Cas," he knows it's not his place to point it out but he says it anyway.</p><p> </p><p>Giving him a threatening look, Cas responds, "It's not your concern."</p><p> </p><p>"Mr. Novak and Mr. Winchester, is there a problem?" Ms. Beverly calls out, to which they both shake their heads in response, drawing their attention back to the class.</p><p> </p><p>"Maybe for once you should drop that attitude and thank the guy for looking out for you," Dean mutters, as Ms. Beverly resumes the class, glancing at the other students in the room.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't need anyone to look out for me. And, as I said already, it's none of your business, Winchester," Castiel grits low in response.</p><p> </p><p>"Mr Novak and Mr Winchester. OUT!"</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry—'' Castiel begins, but shuts up soon as Ms. Beverly continues. </p><p> </p><p>"No need for apologies, both of you get out. Now! And Mr. Winchester, don't bother coming back next time if you plan on disturbing other students who are willing to study."</p><p> </p><p>Castiel gathers his stuff and makes his way towards exit and Dean follows Castiel closely behind while walking out. </p><p> </p><p>"I didn't mean to—" Dean tries to speak when they both are finally outside only to get ignored.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel only heard Dean saying something once they were out but he can’t care any less, he needs to get out from there. Walking away, Castiel trudges into the washroom. He splashes some water on his face. Once. Twice. Tired of everyone's shit, he stares back at the reflection in front of him, he looks like a mess. Running a hand through his hair, he sighs at dark circles marking his skin as he tosses away the napkin, wiping the freshness away from his face.</p><p> </p><p>Everything feels so overwhelming. He thought hooking up would put an end to that feeling but it has only made him feel worse. This is all Dean’s fault. Castiel is angry; with himself, with Dean, with Arthur. He feels guilty as if he has stabbed someone to death. He can picture the disappointed look on his father's face for disobeying the belief that runs in his family. And he hates it. Bringing disgrace to the family. Being a disappointment. He can literally hear his father in his head. <em> This isn't right for you, Castiel. Why do you have to be like this, Castiel? </em> The same manner when he was a kid.</p><p> </p><p>He is deep in thoughts when Dean walks in. His entry is silent, but he knows Castiel heard it anyway, well, he thought he did. There’s no one inside except for Cas and the running water of the sink that he's busy staring at. Dean walks over, closing the tap, the feeble sound of water comes to a halt, snapping Cas back to reality. He looks up to find Dean glaring at him. Looking back, he only feels empty inside. He just stares at Dean for a moment, seeming tense of having him near, and then steps away from the sink making for exit.</p><p> </p><p>“Cas, I—”</p><p> </p><p>"I don't want to talk about it."</p><p> </p><p>He watches Castiel leave. Again. Dean slurs, rushing into words before even thinking of the outcome, "I know this isn't my place to say, but that guy, right there, he's no good."</p><p> </p><p>It works. Castiel stops but he doesn't face Dean when he replies, "I don't need your concern to date someone."</p><p> </p><p>Why does Dean keep on pushing the matter? Castiel has already waved it off before, he has made himself clear: he doesn't wanna talk about anything. Why is it so difficult for Dean to understand that? Castiel is too tired to have any conversation with Dean right now. He doesn't need an apology from Dean nor does he feel the need to give any explanation about Arthur. What's done is done. Castiel is a grown adult, he can make his own damn choices, what he does with his life is not anyone's business, especially not Dean's.</p><p> </p><p>Dean has already done his research on Ketch and, turns out, he is not the type to stick around, not that Dean cares, but at least Cas needs to know if the guy is a good character or not. If he is gonna break Cas' heart or hurt him in any way. The guy is just a sick show off, who is only pretending to care for Cas as long as he gets laid. That British don't deserve someone like Castiel. No, Dean is not jealous, he already has a loving girlfriend but he knows these kind of guys, hell, he used to be one of them, random hookups to bust off some steam, not getting too emotionally involved with anyone, but all that was before he met Lisa. He's a changed man now and he is only trying to look out for his friend, who doesn't know the kind of monsters that live in the society, looking for weak prey.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm only trying to put some sense into that stupid head of yours," Dean tries to explain. "Don't come crying to me when he ditches you."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh! Don't worry. You're the last person I will go to," Castiel makes it clear, turning around, planting his feet to the ground, he grits, stressing over the sentence to punctuate it even more, "And, for the last time, <em> don't get involved where you don't belong </em>."</p><p> </p><p><em> Ouch</em>. That hurts.</p><p> </p><p><em> Don't belong? </em> Excuse him, he is only trying to help. Castiel doesn't have to be rude about it. Dean is least interested in his life anyways but the words coming from Castiel's mouth are like dagger, piercing through Dean's skin. He looks at Castiel in total disbelief of what he just said. Now, normally, Dean wouldn’t admit it but that–those words, it's just– To put it in an easier way, it would’ve stung less if a cobra had bit him. </p><p> </p><p>Was it all a lie? Cas doesn’t consider him as his friend? Dean is aware they didn't hit it off right away, but the last couple of weeks have been different and Dean had thought that maybe, together, they would make it work because, if there is anyone else Dean cherishes the most after Sammy, are his friends, he’ll go to any length to save that bond. He’s always the first one in the line when they need any help and he was the same with Castiel because Dean genuinely wanted to make it right with Cas and be friends with him.</p><p> </p><p>Does Castiel still hate him? Dean has made so many efforts to get to know Cas, to make him open up, to make him comfortable, to make him feel safe, make him feel home. Dean practically snarls at Castiel, watching all that hard work go in vain, his hands curl into a tight fist, his temper builds up like a dynamite, which will explode down the whole washroom.</p><p> </p><p>The argument grows out of nowhere into a tornado, bringing back all the previous matters Castiel has saved in the back of his mind, one of which also includes him nearly dying because Dean was a careless asshole who forgot him on the freaking roof.</p><p> </p><p>Dean carefully listens to the spiteful hate thrown at his face for the first few seconds, holding himself back, but every word coming out from Castiel is like a punch to his jaw, which gets him worked up so fast. Dean can’t believe this. He can’t believe Cas. By then, Dean has surpassed seeking forgiveness, he doesn't want to hurt Cas but he has a lot of repressed frustration that he needs to work on. It's common for someone who's always on the receiving end of anger. Dean needs to get it out. God, he's gonna hate himself for this. But there's a limit. What does Cas even think of himself? Screw this. If this isn't his first bad decision so far, what does he have to lose anyway? Fake friendship? Yeah, that'll never be the same after what he did yesterday, and the way Cas is avoiding him since yesterday, he seems done.</p><p> </p><p>"You are a narcissist," Cas growls at last. </p><p> </p><p>Dean stares at him, utterly silent for a moment before leaping forward a few steps, ready to launch himself on Cas. He yanks him by his collar, bringing him up close to his face. "Choose your next words," he warns as his brows furrow, <em>"</em><em>Carefully,"</em>  his voice sharp and heavy around the edge.</p><p> </p><p>"Apparently your ego is too big to accept the rejection," Cas blurts, calmly, struggling with Dean's death grip.</p><p> </p><p>It’s too quick for him to register; in one stride, Dean’s up close in his personal space, in a sudden moment, he has a flash of Dean's lashing anger, the rumors of which he had heard back in high school years, which he had never seemed to believe until now. There's a soft panic building inside him that can grow or fade, depending on what Dean does next.</p><p> </p><p>"You're saying mean things about someone you don't know at all because I don't desire you the way others do," Castiel casts his eyes up, his heart skips a beat on the sight of the wrath held in Dean's gaze, he can find no trace of vibrancy the green eyes once possessed. "And you are too coward to face it," trembling from inside, Castiel manages to say it out loud in such a poised manner in an attempt to let Dean know he is not afraid of him.</p><p> </p><p>There is a cold burning in Dean's rage, playing his signature move, a solid uppercut to the jaw. Shirt in his fist is crumpling of the efforts Cas is making to free himself. The eyes, which were filled with so much warmth and light, are now replaced with bitterness and hate. Dean does not flinch or move, he’s staring at Castiel the whole time. <em> Is this all Cas thinks of him? </em> After all this time? This is what his image is in Castiel's mind? This is what Cas has narrowed him down to? A guy that everyone desires to be with? Perhaps he doesn't know Dean at all. Dean considered Castiel as his friend. A good one or maybe he never was. Castiel was only pretending to be all nice and interested for the sake of the living arrangement and surviving in the same room without killing each other off. Disappointed, Dean doesn't realise when his fingers have gone weak, losing the grip as the material slips from his hold.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel has held himself firm the whole time, there’s a split second of nothing. He takes a deep breath. For a brief moment, Dean releases him, letting go of the fabric, although Dean's hand still remains at the same place. A series of emotions go through Dean's face, like he's battling with himself, his eyes downcast before meeting the shade of blue when Cas' fingers begin to uncurl from his hand that was fighting back minutes ago.</p><p> </p><p>In an instant, Dean grabs Castiel's wrist. His next action takes Castiel by surprise. It’s all too sudden. Dean pushes and stumbles him backwards until he plants Castiel's wrist on the wall behind him at the same time he shouts, "WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?"</p><p> </p><p>Dean snaps, right at Castiel's face, before pushing him roughly against the hard surface, scaring Castiel, pressing an arm right against his throat, to keep him from moving, throwing Castiel off guard.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel feels a rough force and, before he can get any chance to react to that, Dean has him pinned against the wall, his arm nearly presses a little too hard against Castiel's throat, which is accompanied by the loud growl directly at his face. Castiel's expression gets replaced by one of tremor, his heart throbbing in the chest, colour drains from his face. They both are breathing fast and heavy, one out of terror, other out of infuriation. Castiel watches Dean, hard hostility coded over Dean's face. <em> Why are you so angry, Dean? Please. Stop this. </em> "Let me go," Castiel cries lowly, out of the pressure against his throat and the wrist as Dean turns his cold green eyes toward Castiel.</p><p> </p><p>Shoving his arm harder against Castiel's collar, receiving a shocked gasp, Dean removes the arm, allowing Castiel to breath. The look is already consuming Castiel wholly, he swallows, blinking away the pain where his head and body hit the wall with a terrified look on his face, the blue in his eyes are no longer peaceful and resolute but rather reveals fear and anxiousness. Castiel tries unleashing his wrist from Dean's grip with his free hand, without uttering a word, under Dean's constant stare when Dean shouts angrily, "ANSWER ME!" Dean roars like an angry beast growling in the forest as he yanks away Castiel's other hand and pins it on the same wall.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel holds down a breath, closing his eyes for a second when Dean shouts at him again, the unhealthy beating of his heart only grows faster when he opens his eyes. He has never witnessed such kind of anger from Dean before and he is too shaken up watching him go feral and completely out of control.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel looks at Dean in uncertainty with a stemming panic rising inside his chest due to having Dean much closer to him than his normal liking but, unfortunately, it does nothing to distract him from Dean's breathing as he pretends to not notice how Dean's jaw clenches tighter than ever because Dean seems to be losing himself by then, becoming more and more furious with every passing second.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel feels nauseous, he feels so stupid for believing Dean had a good side; if anything, Dean is just like any other jerk bully. Initially, Castiel had suspected Dean to be no less than Alastair but somehow Dean has happened to prove him wrong and, the worst part of it, Castiel had begun to trust him because not a lot of people know about his family and Dean is among the few with whom he was honest.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel is wearing a pained expression, covered in terror, when he utters low, almost in a whisper, blinking away the water pooling in his eyes, "I hate you."</p><p> </p><p>Castiel gives up, he is too worn out by now, he doesn't fight it anymore but rather stays still, he doesn't care if Dean is going to show more cruelty in his wrath, the betrayal has caused him more hurt than any physical pain ever could. What's the worst that could happen?</p><p> </p><p>Dean wants to hit him, hit that gorgeous face so bad, make him taste some bruises. But he can't. He feels numb. His body freezes. His face inches away from Castiel's, and, in that moment, Dean is afraid what he might do to him. His patience wearing thin, pure rage burns through Dean's eyes, his anger is visible when he withdraws himself, his feet reels back a step, freeing both of Castiel's hands causing Castiel's breath to hitch in response. </p><p> </p><p>Castiel is expecting a punch when something quite opposite happens: Dean frees him. Castiel's hands drop back to his side while he stands still in the same spot and so is Dean, just a small gap apart, but Dean keeps his vision intact on Castiel, pinning him to the place this time with his deadly stare, which looks dangerously fatal like someone has burned down his car.</p><p> </p><p>Closing his hand into a fist, Dean gives in to the anger just when Castiel least expects it and, before he can stop himself, Dean's tight fist launches at Castiel. Now, Dean has been in plenty of fights before. Mostly, in arguments, it's his fist that does the more talking. He throws the punch hard enough to cause a dark bruise. His aim never misses the target but something at the back of his mind wants to stop him when his arm reels back, to stop before he hits Cas' jaw, but restrain is not an option because his fist is already into motion, until the last moment when he feels his knuckles connect to the hard surface right next to Castiel's face.</p><p> </p><p>Frightened, Castiel's eyes squeeze shut of the terror seizing him as the fist bangs near his ear, his head winds up, facing away to the side opposite of where Dean's fist lands and suddenly Dean is more closer than before. Dean had needed or wanted to take out his frustration, but what he ends up with is his body pressed up against Castiel, he pants heavily, breathing in the same air as Cas, his harsh breath coaxing Cas' skin, and the pain flooding through his knuckles, the blood highlights the spot where his fist landed, and he doesn't feel the need to remove it even after several seconds passes by.</p><p> </p><p>It takes the furious man a moment to realise what he would have done to Castiel if he hadn’t stopped himself seconds ago. Dean's knees feel immeasurably weak thinking about the serious consequences of his action. He feels sick and exasperated, finding it hard not fall directly on Castiel due to lack of strength. In an attempt to steady himself on the verge of falling, the forearm of his other hand attaches itself to the same wall, trapping Castiel in between.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel takes a small, shuddering breath of tremor, his cheeks unbearably hot. Dean is so enraged, he can feel it in the brutality and Castiel is prepared for his fate but he hadn’t realised until now that he was being spared of pain. Dean didn't hit him. He missed barely by a fraction. The only other thing that matters is Dean's nose almost brushing on the side of Castiel's cheek, burning his face, Dean's breath comes out harsh as Castiel's eyes remain shut, being too afraid to find Dean directly above him. </p><p> </p><p>Dean notices Castiel flinching just a little when something lands next to his face the second time and Cas doesn't need to open his eyes to know it's Dean's forearm, he can feel his breath bouncing back and the warmth radiating from the angry man's skin. Castiel can hear nothing in the immense silence of the place except for the sound of Dean's breath coming out laboured against his skin. Dean studies Castiel for that moment, the scared being trapped before him, Castiel is breathing heavily too, his lips parted, eyes still not daring to open. Dean allows himself to close his eyes for a brief second as the pain continues to flare up his arm, which remains attached to the wall, blood dripping from his knuckles, just as slowly, he allows his breath to fall in sync with Castiel's, calming him to certain extent.</p><p> </p><p>This might be the end of everything, if Castiel didn't hate him before, he sure will now. Dean has done so much wrong on so many levels, which is beyond forgiving. Cas, who’s outright strong and bold in front of him, is now afraid to even look at him, he has gone weak. What has he done to Castiel? </p><p> </p><p>Dean can’t watch Cas like this anymore, it hurts to see him like this. "Cas," Dean whispers low, the only word he knows, almost breathlessly.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel hears his name, something about the way Dean says it, not with anger but a gentle softness, which causes him to open his eyes, slowly, he takes his time, still terrified from inside of what Dean might do and for the first time he tries to shift his head to follow the faint voice, his cheek brushes with Dean's stubble lightly when he hears another low whisper in his ear, which sounds much of like an apology. </p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry," Dean says before removing himself completely from Castiel and rushing out the door.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>HOT! DAMN! Right? I hope you all enjoyed it just as much. Where are my ghost readers at? I'm sorry but please don't hate Dean. Pretty please. I know you all expected Cas to lash out but it happened other way around and in my defense I gave you all heads up. I don't wanna be the one to say this but GIRLFRIEND I'm WITHHOLDING next chapter until you break your SEXY SILENCE.<br/>You guys hated Dean at first then warmed up to him when he got drunk but in last chapter you didn't liked him. So please for the sake of story let me know about Dean and your take on this chapter, how you all feel about these two because I've to make it right and make few changes accordingly.</p><p>SMASH that kudos button. SMASH it like your LIFE depends on it!! And come SCREAM at me in comments, even if you read 10 years from now. I wanna know everything.<br/>I can't go all commando with next few chapters, so give me some time, there are few things I've to sort out. Hang tight. I'll be back. I Promise.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>